Eh?
"Eh."
Optimism is hard to come by these days. Normally I would be very excited about the holidays, but as anyone working retail during the holidays can tell you, it's hard to get excited when you're never the one who gets to go shopping with your family, or even to enjoy some shopping on your own. Christmas presents are bought on the fly as you're walking through the mall on your way home, and you get so sick of shilling various products that you can't even bring yourself to buy them later. You never get to take some time of your own, and it sucks balls to clean up after people and listen to them bitch about you not being able to take an extra ten percent of their items. I've decided to take the time to write my novel I started for NaNoWriMo while working at JC Penney's. Commission work in the drapery department is slow, which not only makes me bored as hell, it also means I make less money. When its not slow, I'm inundated with stupid questions that could be answered if only people took the time to READ THE FUCKING SIGNS! Seriously. Reading is not only fun, it helps you not look like a stupid fool and annoy everyone.
I don't think I've ever been so unhappy.
I just keep thinking of that bible verse, briefly paraphrased as "Those that are faithful in least, will be faithful in much." Maybe if I keep this up, something good will happen. Hope is hard.
Also, how is it that I'm surrounded by crowds of people every day and I never connect with anyone? I mean, am I really that unattractive? Does my demeanor scream "unapproachable bitch"? It doesn't seem to be that difficult for anyone else. I don't make friends at work. I don't have friends at church. I don't have boyfriends ever. I paid five dollars for a massage the other day and I finally understood why some people hire prostitutes. This is a ridiculous state of affairs, and I have absolutely no idea how to fix it. I know that I can sometimes be a bit much, but how could anyone know that beforehand? It's probably just divine providence at work again. Lord knows, I wouldn't know what to do with someone even if I had them.
The lesson, folks? Try optimism or a really good book. Both have the potential to be really good fantasy.
No more self-pity. I just have to try very hard not to let my brain slide into self-loathing instead. Ugh. I'm sick of myself. I need to crash the pity party. And...possibly stop listening to Amy Winehouse.
Optimism is hard to come by these days. Normally I would be very excited about the holidays, but as anyone working retail during the holidays can tell you, it's hard to get excited when you're never the one who gets to go shopping with your family, or even to enjoy some shopping on your own. Christmas presents are bought on the fly as you're walking through the mall on your way home, and you get so sick of shilling various products that you can't even bring yourself to buy them later. You never get to take some time of your own, and it sucks balls to clean up after people and listen to them bitch about you not being able to take an extra ten percent of their items. I've decided to take the time to write my novel I started for NaNoWriMo while working at JC Penney's. Commission work in the drapery department is slow, which not only makes me bored as hell, it also means I make less money. When its not slow, I'm inundated with stupid questions that could be answered if only people took the time to READ THE FUCKING SIGNS! Seriously. Reading is not only fun, it helps you not look like a stupid fool and annoy everyone.
I don't think I've ever been so unhappy.
I just keep thinking of that bible verse, briefly paraphrased as "Those that are faithful in least, will be faithful in much." Maybe if I keep this up, something good will happen. Hope is hard.
Also, how is it that I'm surrounded by crowds of people every day and I never connect with anyone? I mean, am I really that unattractive? Does my demeanor scream "unapproachable bitch"? It doesn't seem to be that difficult for anyone else. I don't make friends at work. I don't have friends at church. I don't have boyfriends ever. I paid five dollars for a massage the other day and I finally understood why some people hire prostitutes. This is a ridiculous state of affairs, and I have absolutely no idea how to fix it. I know that I can sometimes be a bit much, but how could anyone know that beforehand? It's probably just divine providence at work again. Lord knows, I wouldn't know what to do with someone even if I had them.
The lesson, folks? Try optimism or a really good book. Both have the potential to be really good fantasy.
No more self-pity. I just have to try very hard not to let my brain slide into self-loathing instead. Ugh. I'm sick of myself. I need to crash the pity party. And...possibly stop listening to Amy Winehouse.