College Life
So, my rockstar ain't good enough for you to read about, huh? You wanna know about me? Well, I guess it is a journal. I can't help it if you think I'm lying about my rockstar though. I ain't.
Anyways, here I am. Sitting at my desk, in my dorm room, at a college, in a big-ass city...and I absolutly hate it. I hate the school, I hate the city, I don't even like the people all that much. A lot of people say it's a bad thing to go home every weekend your freshman year of college. "You'll regret it." No. What I would regret is not going home and being miserable even longer than I have to.
Sure, my education and my future are important to me and everything; but not important enough to be completely miserable for 4 entire years. Yep, I'll be transferring next year. I'll be living back at home with my mom, my brother, my cat; I'll have my car, my room, my old job; I'll be able to see my family, my friends, and my #1 whenever I want and not just on the weekend. Now, why would I not want to go to a school closer to home?
I miss him so bad.
I miss my friends too. My family. My cat. I miss sitting around doing nothing, talking about the most outrageous bullshit, drinking Mt. Dew and smoking cigarette after cigarette. I miss laughing about how pathetic we seem to be sometimes; sitting in alleys, smoking, laughing, swearing...just lookin' like hoodrats. And I go to one of the best colleges in the country! Ha. It doesn't matter though. Maybe my brain belongs here but my personality doesn't. I miss my old job. "Smoking or non?" Sure it's menial work for only $6.00 / hr but I love the people there. The cooks especially. I miss driving around, constantly asking where we're going. Nobody has a definite answer. They say anywhere so I go somewhere and they say, "No, not here." Go figure. But I love it. I love private bathrooms. Imagine having to take a shit in a public bathroom everytime you had to shit. Or having to take a shower with 5 other people beside you and the floors are always flooded with cold water...water that you have no idea who or what was stepping in it or floating in it. My bathroom at home is obviously never flooded and nobody knows when you're taking a shit. Try living in a room with two other girls. One room. You can't listen to music whenever you want to because they might be studying. You can't be naked for a second, even to put your robe on because one of them might walk in. There's always someone trying to sleep while the other two have their lights on studying. You bump into one of them at least once a day and you get that awkward response where you both back up and go, "you go ahead". Then you laugh nervously and bump into eachother again. There's conflict, usually underlying conflict, but it's there. One talks to much. One sleeps to much. One's alarm clock is too loud. One's too messy, one's always smoking. One always has her hands down her pants. You get the picture. Go ahead. Try it. If you don't go crazy, tell me your secret.
Well, I'm signing off now to go outside to have a cigarette. I could smoke in my room but my smoking roommate quit smoking and since I'm such a God damned nice person...yeah. Then I'm gonna try to fall asleep on my lumpy matress that has been used by only God knows how many other disgusting people.
Anyways, here I am. Sitting at my desk, in my dorm room, at a college, in a big-ass city...and I absolutly hate it. I hate the school, I hate the city, I don't even like the people all that much. A lot of people say it's a bad thing to go home every weekend your freshman year of college. "You'll regret it." No. What I would regret is not going home and being miserable even longer than I have to.
Sure, my education and my future are important to me and everything; but not important enough to be completely miserable for 4 entire years. Yep, I'll be transferring next year. I'll be living back at home with my mom, my brother, my cat; I'll have my car, my room, my old job; I'll be able to see my family, my friends, and my #1 whenever I want and not just on the weekend. Now, why would I not want to go to a school closer to home?
I miss him so bad.
I miss my friends too. My family. My cat. I miss sitting around doing nothing, talking about the most outrageous bullshit, drinking Mt. Dew and smoking cigarette after cigarette. I miss laughing about how pathetic we seem to be sometimes; sitting in alleys, smoking, laughing, swearing...just lookin' like hoodrats. And I go to one of the best colleges in the country! Ha. It doesn't matter though. Maybe my brain belongs here but my personality doesn't. I miss my old job. "Smoking or non?" Sure it's menial work for only $6.00 / hr but I love the people there. The cooks especially. I miss driving around, constantly asking where we're going. Nobody has a definite answer. They say anywhere so I go somewhere and they say, "No, not here." Go figure. But I love it. I love private bathrooms. Imagine having to take a shit in a public bathroom everytime you had to shit. Or having to take a shower with 5 other people beside you and the floors are always flooded with cold water...water that you have no idea who or what was stepping in it or floating in it. My bathroom at home is obviously never flooded and nobody knows when you're taking a shit. Try living in a room with two other girls. One room. You can't listen to music whenever you want to because they might be studying. You can't be naked for a second, even to put your robe on because one of them might walk in. There's always someone trying to sleep while the other two have their lights on studying. You bump into one of them at least once a day and you get that awkward response where you both back up and go, "you go ahead". Then you laugh nervously and bump into eachother again. There's conflict, usually underlying conflict, but it's there. One talks to much. One sleeps to much. One's alarm clock is too loud. One's too messy, one's always smoking. One always has her hands down her pants. You get the picture. Go ahead. Try it. If you don't go crazy, tell me your secret.
Well, I'm signing off now to go outside to have a cigarette. I could smoke in my room but my smoking roommate quit smoking and since I'm such a God damned nice person...yeah. Then I'm gonna try to fall asleep on my lumpy matress that has been used by only God knows how many other disgusting people.