birthdays
some people are big into their own birthdays, and that's cool. i am not one of those people. i don't like broadcasting to the world when my birthday is, and that's just the way i am. i don't really know how this came about because i used to look forward to my birthday when i was younger. i used to look forward to having parties and having all my classmates over and eating cake and getting presents. but now, i don't really look forward to my birthday. to me, it's just another day, and i typically even forget that it's my birthday unless i have to write down the date. i guess i just figure that nobody really cares that it's my birthday. because i've had some really crappy birthdays, and i've just learned to forget about expecting to be happy on my birthday because i'll get shat on anyway. on my 18th birthday i got robbed. it wasn't traumatic, because i didn't know it was happening. i left my purse in my first period class and not 15 minutes into second period, when i realized that i needed my calculator, i went back into my first period room to get my purse. i noticed that something was amiss with my wallet, but i didn't think anything of it until i got to lunch when i noticed that all the bills and silver (but not the pennies) were gone. i wasn't that pissed (because somehow they missed the $20 just floating around in the depths of my purse, and they only took $7. but it was unnerving, first because it was on my birthday, and second because (in case you forgot) i went to a Catholic all-girls high school... there's just something disturbing with people stealing money in a Catholic high school. my 19th and 20th birthdays were not good... my 20th, in particular, stands out as being exceptionally bad, and i recall being pissed on top of being pissed. my 21st was nonexistent... it was on a wednesday and i had a bmb test either that day or the friday after.
anyway, the point is, i don't care if people celebrate my birthday. i don't care for people to broadcast it for me, though. because i don't think it really matters to anyone else. and that's just the way i feel. i don't like for people to make a big deal out of my birthday because i typically expect it to be crappy, and i don't want people to celebrate crappiness. i guess i just don't like the attention. it means more to me if someone remembers when it is (or even the month that it's in), and just shoots a little email or a message or something, than if they make a big fuss and make me do things to celebrate it. and if someone doesn't remember, that's cool too. i won't be offended. because i'm not the kind of person that broadcasts her birthday to the world, so i don't generally expect people to know when it is, and that's fine with me. i'm happier that way.
anyway, the point is, i don't care if people celebrate my birthday. i don't care for people to broadcast it for me, though. because i don't think it really matters to anyone else. and that's just the way i feel. i don't like for people to make a big deal out of my birthday because i typically expect it to be crappy, and i don't want people to celebrate crappiness. i guess i just don't like the attention. it means more to me if someone remembers when it is (or even the month that it's in), and just shoots a little email or a message or something, than if they make a big fuss and make me do things to celebrate it. and if someone doesn't remember, that's cool too. i won't be offended. because i'm not the kind of person that broadcasts her birthday to the world, so i don't generally expect people to know when it is, and that's fine with me. i'm happier that way.