hi, my name is unfair...nice to meet you Stefoni
i should've called this one.
whenever life is on the up and up, things always just crash and burn.
i didn't even see it coming. i'm so fucking blind.
blind blind fucking blind.
i just wish that for once in my freaking life everything would go the way i have it planned out. John Lennon once said "life is what happens when you're making other plans" and boy, was he right. life fucking happens always.
i'm sick of trying
and i shouldn't have to try
i work myself to a frazzle.
i love my family and my best friend.
and in general i'm a really sweet person.
so why the hell does shit like this keep happening to me?
where is my supermarket romance?
where is my boyfriend to fall asleep with and roll over and kiss goodnight?
why is everything about sex?
movies are crap. they lie. things don't happen that way, so don't wish for it. no boy is going to fall head over heels for you, realize it and take a plane to you 2000 million miles away to confess his love with your favorite flowers, or stand outside of your window with a huge boombox.
it's not real, so don't fucking be so blind and believe it. no matter how much effort you throw into things, they'll never end up that way. you'll never have someone to snuggle with, or fight for you, or appreciate all the sweet things that you do for them. Fuck, they'll just look at you, and MAYBE smile, no thank yous. no nothing. you're just fucked.
so quit being so fucking nice. no one really cares. and your dream romance, erase that fucking thought in your head. erase every dream you've had for the future of having a family, a mini van, kissing your husband when he comes home from work, or falling asleep in suburbia. this isn't 7th grade anymore dumbass, so wake up and quit being so fucking guilliable. this isn't Dawson's Creek, this is real fucking life.
i hate you
i hate you
i hate you
god.
i'm so pissed at everything in my life. nothing is anything like i painted in my head when i was younger. right now, i thought i'd be in a committed relationship with hopes of being married soon. With the love of my life. going to college, eating life with a spoon.
instead:
i work at quiznos.
no one loves me.
my family accuses me of being a thief on a daily basis.
i'm lonely like never before.
i don't know what's going to happen next, i think i'm just waiting to die.
if there's a purpose for me, i'd like to know what it is so i can do it and get this over with. i'm not saying "oh. i'm so suicidal" i'm not going to fucking kill myself. i'm just going to sit her and get bitch slapped by everything that's coming at me and just take it. i'm through fighting for what i want.
i'm through with making the effort.
i'm done being nice.
i'm just going to remain this empty shell of what was supposed to be. and for all of you that think i'm being mellowdramatic, fuck you.
you have no idea what i've been through
you have no idea what i cry about every night
you have it easy, so fuck off and take your opinions with you.
from now i'm pampering stefoni.
stefoni comes first
you all come last
thanks for using up the last drop of kindness in my heart
when the right person comes
they'll be nothing left
so thanks
xx
whenever life is on the up and up, things always just crash and burn.
i didn't even see it coming. i'm so fucking blind.
blind blind fucking blind.
i just wish that for once in my freaking life everything would go the way i have it planned out. John Lennon once said "life is what happens when you're making other plans" and boy, was he right. life fucking happens always.
i'm sick of trying
and i shouldn't have to try
i work myself to a frazzle.
i love my family and my best friend.
and in general i'm a really sweet person.
so why the hell does shit like this keep happening to me?
where is my supermarket romance?
where is my boyfriend to fall asleep with and roll over and kiss goodnight?
why is everything about sex?
movies are crap. they lie. things don't happen that way, so don't wish for it. no boy is going to fall head over heels for you, realize it and take a plane to you 2000 million miles away to confess his love with your favorite flowers, or stand outside of your window with a huge boombox.
it's not real, so don't fucking be so blind and believe it. no matter how much effort you throw into things, they'll never end up that way. you'll never have someone to snuggle with, or fight for you, or appreciate all the sweet things that you do for them. Fuck, they'll just look at you, and MAYBE smile, no thank yous. no nothing. you're just fucked.
so quit being so fucking nice. no one really cares. and your dream romance, erase that fucking thought in your head. erase every dream you've had for the future of having a family, a mini van, kissing your husband when he comes home from work, or falling asleep in suburbia. this isn't 7th grade anymore dumbass, so wake up and quit being so fucking guilliable. this isn't Dawson's Creek, this is real fucking life.
i hate you
i hate you
i hate you
god.
i'm so pissed at everything in my life. nothing is anything like i painted in my head when i was younger. right now, i thought i'd be in a committed relationship with hopes of being married soon. With the love of my life. going to college, eating life with a spoon.
instead:
i work at quiznos.
no one loves me.
my family accuses me of being a thief on a daily basis.
i'm lonely like never before.
i don't know what's going to happen next, i think i'm just waiting to die.
if there's a purpose for me, i'd like to know what it is so i can do it and get this over with. i'm not saying "oh. i'm so suicidal" i'm not going to fucking kill myself. i'm just going to sit her and get bitch slapped by everything that's coming at me and just take it. i'm through fighting for what i want.
i'm through with making the effort.
i'm done being nice.
i'm just going to remain this empty shell of what was supposed to be. and for all of you that think i'm being mellowdramatic, fuck you.
you have no idea what i've been through
you have no idea what i cry about every night
you have it easy, so fuck off and take your opinions with you.
from now i'm pampering stefoni.
stefoni comes first
you all come last
thanks for using up the last drop of kindness in my heart
when the right person comes
they'll be nothing left
so thanks
xx