headache
school work.. on and off.. I really don't have a grasp of the large amount of work still left in the semester.
This is one of those days where I realize that my own bad habits will eventually destroy me. And then I remember that my bad habits are from moments of restlessness when I decided not much could happen if I pressed the green button instead of the red (or, guess I could go cliche and steal the matrix's pill analogy). So really my bad habits are lapses of restlessness, or at least that's when they occur. When I wake up in the morning and my skin itches to get itself out of this monotonous routine of doing what I'm 'supposed' to, just doing life within its rigid walls. Then my head feels like it's in a vice and I can't concentrate on any of the tasks at hand. So a bad habit is just a bit of a release, to avoid the larger options. To curb the feeling that occurs when driving to the university that I should just keep going until I hit the highway. To not let myself sit on the couch and stare at the TV, to not quit my job or my classes.
But, it's not teen angst anymore, none of us are falling through the cracks and I just need to let go of it and keep making it to class on time.
This is one of those days where I realize that my own bad habits will eventually destroy me. And then I remember that my bad habits are from moments of restlessness when I decided not much could happen if I pressed the green button instead of the red (or, guess I could go cliche and steal the matrix's pill analogy). So really my bad habits are lapses of restlessness, or at least that's when they occur. When I wake up in the morning and my skin itches to get itself out of this monotonous routine of doing what I'm 'supposed' to, just doing life within its rigid walls. Then my head feels like it's in a vice and I can't concentrate on any of the tasks at hand. So a bad habit is just a bit of a release, to avoid the larger options. To curb the feeling that occurs when driving to the university that I should just keep going until I hit the highway. To not let myself sit on the couch and stare at the TV, to not quit my job or my classes.
But, it's not teen angst anymore, none of us are falling through the cracks and I just need to let go of it and keep making it to class on time.