Work for your Prozac
Slow processes and a little aprehension.
I'm looking back through the months, things I've recorded (in personal journals, not on here), and finding out where my thinking went wrong. There are some very dangerous sentences, lies, predictions, and resolutions. Declaring myself "lost", stating that "I don't know" and "I've never known".. "This [the changes I'd made in living] is working for me, I'm happy, what's so wrong with that?" hmm, ignorant challenges to the truth. "I don't want to complete this year" admission to the apathy.
Reading it over now, I try to keep a perspective above the situations I was in. There were a lot of things to explain my reactions: the emotional let down after Mexico, rejection for theTWU scholarship and others, youth group switching to 'young adults' and my severence from a lot of church activities due to the rush of gr. 12, my 18th birthday, graduation. No excuses, just life, I know it.
So I'm trying not to move too fast in any direction these days. I need to find a way not to redo this all over again. Contemplating a few counseling sessions or at least talking to someone. I think I've figured out that leaving things up to your own mind and instinct can really throw things off kilter. Hope the opportunity comes up for something better.
I'm looking back through the months, things I've recorded (in personal journals, not on here), and finding out where my thinking went wrong. There are some very dangerous sentences, lies, predictions, and resolutions. Declaring myself "lost", stating that "I don't know" and "I've never known".. "This [the changes I'd made in living] is working for me, I'm happy, what's so wrong with that?" hmm, ignorant challenges to the truth. "I don't want to complete this year" admission to the apathy.
Reading it over now, I try to keep a perspective above the situations I was in. There were a lot of things to explain my reactions: the emotional let down after Mexico, rejection for theTWU scholarship and others, youth group switching to 'young adults' and my severence from a lot of church activities due to the rush of gr. 12, my 18th birthday, graduation. No excuses, just life, I know it.
So I'm trying not to move too fast in any direction these days. I need to find a way not to redo this all over again. Contemplating a few counseling sessions or at least talking to someone. I think I've figured out that leaving things up to your own mind and instinct can really throw things off kilter. Hope the opportunity comes up for something better.