(no subject)
School. Panera with Boy. Got my book. Gave him his. =] I'm glad he liked it. Appreciated it. I know i'm so thoughtful. I'm just always thinking about him.
At first i started to dislike this book. there are certain things about it i can't stand. How its not as good as the other one.. how i can't relate to it. How its more of a story of his life, and finding himself. Not that i have found myself. But i dont really mind that much, being lost. Its so non-fiction i almost want to puke. Takes place in Russia, Hes jewish and all this shizzzzzzzzzzzz. but idk. theres a few good moments. Like this one. While Brod finally admits to her husband that she never loved him, she only pretends, he takes out the part of him that is keeping him alive. She sees this and grows sad. Not pity, but feels love. For he can not live without HER love. They sleep in seperate rooms, and she cuts a small hole in the wall so they can communicate. They ask each other to undress so they can look at each other far away. They had seen each others naked bodies hundreds maybe thousands of times, but it was the closeness that distance brang them. Intimacy. They take turns looking through the hole at their naked selves, and [this is weird] actually make love through the hole. [meanwhile hes freaking dying because she doesnt love him]
"They lived with the hole. The absence that defined it became a presence that defined them. Life was a small negative space cut out of the eternal solidity, and for the first time, it felt precious- not like all of the words that had come to mean nothing, but like the last breath of a drowning victim."
And then, he "dies" or so she pretends. She lives in a life of lies. She used to complain to him that they never talked. They talked. They didnt converse. She kept a list of all the conversions they had. Nine. He didn't understand. He never took her seriously. It was sad. But people have their differences. Idk. this book is very weird. But im beginning to see some good.
I'm nervous for tommorrow. Not like scared out of my skin nervous. But just, ya know, scared. Train by myself. Penn station by myself. Subway by myself. Walking to dads work by myself. WHO KNOWS. and i wont have steviee to talk to on the train cuz he'll be in school! Stupid school. ruins everything :P haha. oh well. im ready! I love you.
At first i started to dislike this book. there are certain things about it i can't stand. How its not as good as the other one.. how i can't relate to it. How its more of a story of his life, and finding himself. Not that i have found myself. But i dont really mind that much, being lost. Its so non-fiction i almost want to puke. Takes place in Russia, Hes jewish and all this shizzzzzzzzzzzz. but idk. theres a few good moments. Like this one. While Brod finally admits to her husband that she never loved him, she only pretends, he takes out the part of him that is keeping him alive. She sees this and grows sad. Not pity, but feels love. For he can not live without HER love. They sleep in seperate rooms, and she cuts a small hole in the wall so they can communicate. They ask each other to undress so they can look at each other far away. They had seen each others naked bodies hundreds maybe thousands of times, but it was the closeness that distance brang them. Intimacy. They take turns looking through the hole at their naked selves, and [this is weird] actually make love through the hole. [meanwhile hes freaking dying because she doesnt love him]
"They lived with the hole. The absence that defined it became a presence that defined them. Life was a small negative space cut out of the eternal solidity, and for the first time, it felt precious- not like all of the words that had come to mean nothing, but like the last breath of a drowning victim."
And then, he "dies" or so she pretends. She lives in a life of lies. She used to complain to him that they never talked. They talked. They didnt converse. She kept a list of all the conversions they had. Nine. He didn't understand. He never took her seriously. It was sad. But people have their differences. Idk. this book is very weird. But im beginning to see some good.
I'm nervous for tommorrow. Not like scared out of my skin nervous. But just, ya know, scared. Train by myself. Penn station by myself. Subway by myself. Walking to dads work by myself. WHO KNOWS. and i wont have steviee to talk to on the train cuz he'll be in school! Stupid school. ruins everything :P haha. oh well. im ready! I love you.