:-(
I have the hardest choice in the world to make....and about 15 min left to decide. Josh told me i have to choose whether to go back out with him or not by 5 tonight. The thing is, if i dont want to, I'll never get to talk to him again cos he wont want to. Also, hed go to Conneticut for college. I am so torn right now u dont even know. I like him so much, but i so DO NOT want to fall in love again (like i did with Mat), it sucks soooooo bad, I dont wanna get hurt again, I dont want him to leave me again, and I dont want him staying behind from a college if he really wants to go to it you know? I think he could do way better than me. I know he could. Some girl wanted to have sex with him last night and he didnt cos of me. He could have someone who cares just as much for him AND theyd put out too. He deserves it. I really really dont know what to do :-( I think I just have to let it go. I dont even know how Im gonna say it without crying, but I know he deserves better. You know in Moulin Rouge when she lies to Christian and says she doesnt love him cos its best for him? She really loves him more than anything in the world and thats why she lies. Thats what I have to do. College is best for him and i know how much better he can do. :-( :-( :-( 10 minutes left. God why do I have to do this? Im crying already, how the hell am i gonna tell him with out crying? How the fuck do I expect myself to convince him It will be better this way when its killing me? WHy do I have to care about him so much??? I have to go now 5 minutes til he calls :`( I hate this. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it. I fuckin hate it.
steff
*The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return...*
*I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song's my sorry*
*No matter how your heart is grieving,
If you keep on believing,
The dream that you wish will come true.*
*Lock me away
And don't allow the day
Here inside where I hide
With my loneliness*
***Sitting in the dark without you
How am I supposed to make it
Through the night
Slowly fall apart without you
Cry away the hours
Till the morning light***
:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(
steff
*The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return...*
*I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song's my sorry*
*No matter how your heart is grieving,
If you keep on believing,
The dream that you wish will come true.*
*Lock me away
And don't allow the day
Here inside where I hide
With my loneliness*
***Sitting in the dark without you
How am I supposed to make it
Through the night
Slowly fall apart without you
Cry away the hours
Till the morning light***
:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(