"I Wanna Outrace The Speed Of Pain"
Suicide is such a selfish thing to do. I don't think you realize it at the time. But it is. You only think of yourself. Of what you're feeling. The pain you are going through. You never stop to think of how much pain everyone around you is going to be in after you're gone. You only think about yourself.
I'm so tired. I'm so tired of people dying. I'm tired of losing friends, and old friends, and ex-boyfriends, and family members. And I'm sure everyone else is too. I guess it's just a part of growing up, but some deaths are so unnecessary.
I'm getting so tired of worrying. Of feeling like I have to worry. Is everyone okay for today? Are all of my friends still alive? I'm tired of worrying about people I care about. I'm tired of friends going to jail and ex-boyfriends on drugs. Tired of worrying if any of my friends feel like dying themselves. I'm getting tired of worrying if someone I care incredibly for may OD today or tomorrow.
Sometimes I think, maybe I should just quit caring about these people killing themselves. But I know I wouldn't be able to. And it sounds so hypocritical coming from me, I'm sure, because I do/did the same things. I guess I'm just angry.
I'm so tired. I'm so tired of people dying. I'm tired of losing friends, and old friends, and ex-boyfriends, and family members. And I'm sure everyone else is too. I guess it's just a part of growing up, but some deaths are so unnecessary.
I'm getting so tired of worrying. Of feeling like I have to worry. Is everyone okay for today? Are all of my friends still alive? I'm tired of worrying about people I care about. I'm tired of friends going to jail and ex-boyfriends on drugs. Tired of worrying if any of my friends feel like dying themselves. I'm getting tired of worrying if someone I care incredibly for may OD today or tomorrow.
Sometimes I think, maybe I should just quit caring about these people killing themselves. But I know I wouldn't be able to. And it sounds so hypocritical coming from me, I'm sure, because I do/did the same things. I guess I'm just angry.