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[stefan_d]

My brother Vince called today to harass talk to me; I'm not sure why he keeps callin'. I mean, okay I thought for a while last summer that we could be friends again, but it didn't work out. Can you ever really leave the past behind

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[stefan_d]

I blink; she's startled me into bein' completely honest and not thinkin' about what I'm gonna say. "I didn't used to think so," I tell her. "The surface was all there was. I locked everything else away so nobody could get to it." I lift one shoulder in a slight shrug. "But I know there's an okay guy in here. Most of the time." I smile, and there's no artifice to it.

[stefan_d]

"Thanks," I say, a little uncomfortable now. "But hey, ya know, we were talkin' about you and you bein' alive for now." I glance out at the sunset again; now it's a giant fiery ball that looks like it's sinkin' into the ocean.

[stefan_d]

Nice. Way to fuck that up, Stef. Dammit.

"All I meant was I'm glad you're here," I say. Huh, I wonder if I shut up for a while if maybe I could pull my entire leg out of my mouth. I sigh. Sometimes you can't win.

[stefan_d]

I nod, and decide to carefully think about what I'm gonna say before I open my mouth again. That's been my problem my whole life; I blurt stuff without thinkin' about it first.

The sun dips lower, and the waves crash against the rocks below. It's soothin'. Finally, I ask, "Are you okay? Sometimes I hear you walkin' around upstairs at night, like maybe you have trouble sleepin'."

[stefan_d]

"Guess they don't," I say mildly. "But you're not one right now, so..." I think there's somethin' she's not saying, but I guess if she wanted to tell me, she would.