Letter Never Sent
Dear Taf,
I dunno if you'll ever see this letter or not, 'cause I may not give it to you, but I'm writing it because I miss you today. A lot.
When I first met you, I thought you were nuts. Nuts in a nice way, mind you, but nuts. You with your stones and crystals and random spurts of magic. You with your cemetery and dead grandmother obsession. You deciding that you had to protect me. You know what, you should've protected yourself, but that's not something you would've ever thought of.
I never had a friend like you before. I was never in a place where I could let anybody in. Yeah, I could bullshit with the best of 'em, and there's quite a few people in New York and Jersey who'd tell you we were tight, but that's just their perception. Nobody ever got to me, the real me. And I can't tell you how much that means to me. I hope I do okay at showing you, but I dunno.
We're gonna get you back. I dunno how yet, but we're going to. Hopefully soon. And don't worry, I'm trying to look after Maddie while she's here. Not that she's someone who'll let you look after her, but at least I'm trying. Jordan is too.
It'll be okay. I promise.
Love, Stef
__________
I fold up the letter I just wrote to my best friend and put it in the back of the drawer in the kitchen where I keep pens and scrap paper and weird odds and ends that don't have a place anywhere else. I've been feeling shitty all day, and I dunno, somehow I thought writin' that down would help. So far it hasn't, but maybe it'll kick in.
I move through my dark apartment-- I never opened the blinds today-- and sit down on the couch, lightin' up a cigarette. Usually I go outside to smoke, but I don't feel like it. I don't feel like doin' anything, and lucky for me today isn't a work day. I don't wanna watch TV, I don't wanna fix something to eat, so I don't. I just sit and watch the shadows move across the room as the sun shifts in the sky, as late afternoon settles in. Smoke from my cigarette curls toward the ceiling and there's quiet. Just quiet.
I dunno if you'll ever see this letter or not, 'cause I may not give it to you, but I'm writing it because I miss you today. A lot.
When I first met you, I thought you were nuts. Nuts in a nice way, mind you, but nuts. You with your stones and crystals and random spurts of magic. You with your cemetery and dead grandmother obsession. You deciding that you had to protect me. You know what, you should've protected yourself, but that's not something you would've ever thought of.
I never had a friend like you before. I was never in a place where I could let anybody in. Yeah, I could bullshit with the best of 'em, and there's quite a few people in New York and Jersey who'd tell you we were tight, but that's just their perception. Nobody ever got to me, the real me. And I can't tell you how much that means to me. I hope I do okay at showing you, but I dunno.
We're gonna get you back. I dunno how yet, but we're going to. Hopefully soon. And don't worry, I'm trying to look after Maddie while she's here. Not that she's someone who'll let you look after her, but at least I'm trying. Jordan is too.
It'll be okay. I promise.
Love, Stef
__________
I fold up the letter I just wrote to my best friend and put it in the back of the drawer in the kitchen where I keep pens and scrap paper and weird odds and ends that don't have a place anywhere else. I've been feeling shitty all day, and I dunno, somehow I thought writin' that down would help. So far it hasn't, but maybe it'll kick in.
I move through my dark apartment-- I never opened the blinds today-- and sit down on the couch, lightin' up a cigarette. Usually I go outside to smoke, but I don't feel like it. I don't feel like doin' anything, and lucky for me today isn't a work day. I don't wanna watch TV, I don't wanna fix something to eat, so I don't. I just sit and watch the shadows move across the room as the sun shifts in the sky, as late afternoon settles in. Smoke from my cigarette curls toward the ceiling and there's quiet. Just quiet.