Forgive Us This Trespass-1/1
Title: Forgive Us This Trespass
Author: Eena
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: LJ Smith owns Vampire Diaries.
Characters: Caroline/Stefan
Spoilers: 2.03-Bad Moon Rising.
Summary: “You’re not Katherine, Stefan. You can’t handle what you’re starting.”
Notes: Response to the Doomed Ships Comment Ficathon.
~*~
She’s sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace, legs crossed and her hands resting behind her as she leaned back. She’s a barely put together mess. Old gray sweatpants, a white tank top, and green flip-flops-it’s obvious she’s dressed in a hurry and the raggedy state of her ponytail belies her rush to leave her house today. Her eyes are focused on the unlit logs and her face is disconcertingly blank.
“She’s been there since ten,” Damon informs him from the couch. His brother has his legs up on the coffee table, a book on his lap, and a glass of scotch in hand. Stefan takes a moment to be concerned about that. Damon’s slowly but surely becoming an alcoholic. The idea itself is at least three distinct levels of scary. “She also won’t talk to me.”
“Hate you,” Caroline offers without turning around. Her words are hostile, but her tone lacks its usual conviction. He arches an eyebrow at Damon and his brother shrugs disinterestedly. Damon’s eyes are fixed on his book, but Stefan knows his brother is quietly observing and cataloguing everything about Caroline’s behaviour.
He walks over, silently taking a seat next to her. He looks at her instead of the fireplace and after a few minutes, she starts talking. “I broke up with Matt.”
Damon snorts from his spot over on the couch, and Stefan spares a second to glare at him. If Caroline heard him (and there’s little she can’t hear nowadays) she gives no indication of it. She just continues to stare at the dark fireplace, not even acknowledging Stefan when he places a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“Well, technically he broke up with me,” she amends quickly. “I drove him to it. It’s the best for him. I can’t-yet. I’m not good enough yet.”
Now, she turns to him. He sees shattered blue eyes and tears tracks that must be hours old. “But I really wanted to be.”
“I know,” he says, voice full of remorse. She sniffles and very slowly tilts sideways. Soon, her head is in his lap and her legs are drawn up against her chest with her arms encircling them. He’s at a loss with what to do. He chances a glance at Damon and finds his brother laughing at his discomfort. Stefan turns back to the quivering blonde mess on his lap and tentatively puts a hand on her head. “Caroline, I-“
“Katherine was in my room this morning,” she interrupts suddenly.
That’s enough to wipe the grin off Damon’s face and he’s joining them by the fireplace in the blink of an eye. He grabs Caroline by the arm roughly and Stefan responds by pushing him back before carefully drawing Caroline back up to a sitting position. Damon rolls his eyes at Stefan before turning back to Caroline with barely contained agitation.
“Katherine?” Damon prompts, his smile full of mock-cheer and nonchalance.
Caroline rests her head on Stefan’s shoulder, hands picking at the imaginary lint on her pants. “She wants to be best friends. Or something.” Caroline turns her head upwards and looks directly into Stefan’s eyes. “She said ‘no rules’.”
He feels a tremor of fear. But he hides it and smiles reassuringly.
“What did you say?” Damon asks, the fake smile gone.
“I told her I had mid-terms next week,” she shrugs weakly. “I might have stolen that from Alias, but whatever.”
“You told her no,” Stefan is unable to hide his worry this time.
“Katherine hates hearing no,” Damon muses quietly. “How’d you manage to do that, Blondie?”
She shrugs again. “What was she going to do? Kill me? I’m already dead.”
Damon frowns. “You could be deader.”
Another shrug. “Doesn’t matter.”
Stefan slips an arm around her waist and gives her a squeeze. “You said you didn’t want to die, remember?”
She shakes her head and then gets to her feet. “I’m stupid, why do you ever listen to me?”
Stefan follows her to the liquor cabinet, his brow furrowed with displeasure. “You’re not stupid, Caroline.”
“Yeah,” Damon chimes in. “Shallow and more than a bit self-centered, but stupid? Nah.”
She raises a glass of scotch to her lips, pausing briefly to allow her gaze to capture Stefan’s. Her blue eyes are carefully blank and more than a little cold. Stefan struggles and can’t find the words he needs to say.
She knocks back the drink and leaves.
~*~
She barely speaks to anyone in the following week. Stefan has taken to spending the night in her room while Damon patrols the surrounding neighbourhood. Katherine doesn’t show her face again, and he wonders why they thought she would. Katherine’s not one for predictability.
Her first day back at school, Caroline hands in her pom-poms, resigns from every committee and club she’s in, and stops all her volunteer work. He asks her about it, more than a little worried at this point. He’s watching her slip away from herself, piece by piece. But she seems unconcerned with any of it.
“It’s hard to read to a bunch of sick kids when all you can think of is how easy it would be to feed on them since they’re too weak to fight off a cold, let alone a vampire.”
He stops her, grabbing her by the wrist and looking deep into her eyes. “Don’t do this, Caroline.”
She looks back at him blankly-he’s starting to hate that empty expression. “Don’t do what, Stefan?”
“Don’t throw away your life because you think you shouldn’t have it anymore,” Stefan shakes her head. “Don’t you understand? First it’s the things you love, then the people you love. Pretty soon you’re flicking off that switch and you’ll be too dead inside to care about anything you do.”
A ghost of a smile curves her lips. “Katherine’ right; you are preachy.”
“What’s Katherine got to do with this?”
She shrugs. “Nothing, everything-how should I know? She’s your ex.”
“Caroline-“
“Relax Stefan,” she says with a small laugh. There’s something like a genuine smile threatening in the pursing of her lips. “I said you were preachy; I didn’t say you were wrong.”
~*~
He comes home from Elena’s one night and finds her on the couch, Damon on top of her, kissing her wildly. His shirt’s gone and her pants are bunched up and hanging off her right ankle. He curses and they pull apart, Damon looking annoyed while she just stares.
“What the hell?” is all he can say.
Damon groans as he gets up off her, smiling apologetically as he shrugs his shirt back on. “And that’s why I call him Saint Stefan. The patron saint of cock-blockers.”
She’s pulling on her pants silently and Damon rolls his eyes at Stefan. “I think I actually miss her blubbering. This silent assassin stuff is getting kind of boring.”
Stefan glares. Damon snorts. “Hey, at least it’s not your girlfriend, this time.”
The anger is blinding for one second, and in the next he’s throwing his brother across the room. Damon collides with a bookshelf, a few of the heavier volumes tumbling off and hitting him in the head. “What the fuck! You’re not her daddy, Stefan! You play teacher-pupil all you want-it’s my damn blood that changed her. She’s my child-it’s natural, between her and me. So cram the jealous boyfriend act before I tell Elena about this latest twist in the soap opera of our lives.”
Stefan shakes his head, fangs itching to elongate. “Stop trying to turn this on me. You’re taking advantage of her, and you know how confused she is right now!”
“She came to me!” Damon reveals with a smirk. “And I don’t have to turn anything on you, little brother. You’re so goddamn sanctimonious sometimes-but you’re little better than me. She’s confused, you say? So why the hell are you sleeping in her room and letting her crawl into your lap when she’s upset? New vampires fall in and out of infatuations like that! And you’re feeding the fire with your buddy-buddy, ‘I’ll protect you always’ bullshit.”
“Shut up, Damon,” Stefan’s voice is dangerously low.
Damon rolls his eyes. “You’re not Katherine, Stefan. You can’t handle what you’re starting. She’s already halfway to thinking she loves you, and you’re so damn happy to have another vampire to hang with, you’re ignoring it. Elena’s great and everything, but there’s stuff you have to do without her or she’ll get all squicky about kissing you. You’re delusional if you think this is heading any other way. And I’d hate to break it to you, little brother-but teenage girls these days hate to share.”
Stefan’s lips curl back in a savage snarl. He finds he can’t stand to look at his brother anymore. He turns to the couch, mouth already forming the words of disappointment for her. But the couch is empty and the front door is open.
Damon’s beside him and deliberately bumping Stefan with his shoulder as Damon headed towards the stairs. “Seriously, I could have gotten laid.”
~*~
She doesn’t speak to him for two days. She makes a show of talking to anyone but him, and Elena’s eyebrows are almost up to her hairline at the sudden change.
“What, did you make her feed on a skunk or something?”
He sighs and shrugs. “She thinks I’m getting overbearing.”
His girlfriend is all dimples and sweetness. “Is that because, maybe you are?”
He laughs, but it’s forced and the real thing he’s worried about is that Damon may be right.
~*~
“You know, I’m not back in love with him or something stupid.”
He’s been spying on her hunt for half an hour, and she’s suddenly frustrated with it. He walks out of the shadows and comes to a stop in front of her. The moonlight is good tonight, and her hair looks almost white under its shine. She’s got one hip jutting out, arms crossed tightly under her chest, and the first real expression he’s seen on her face in weeks. It’s an annoyed expression, but it’s still better than the emptiness.
“I didn’t say you were,” he replies slowly. “I just said you were confused.”
She rolls her eyes and turns on her heel. “I understand sex just fine, Stefan,” she says with an angry flip of her hair.
“I don’t understand why it was Damon,” Stefan pushes, his own calm slowly deteriorating alongside her attitude.
She spins suddenly, right in his face in the blink of an eye. “Who else was it going to be?” she demands. “Who? I don’t know if I have enough control not to kill a human, and there aren’t a lot of other vampires around. Damon’s an ass, but he could have gotten the job done.”
“Stop being crass,” he orders, fuming slightly.
She shoves him back a few feet. “Stop acting like you can tell me what to do!” she shouts. “I just wanted some contact with another person. Contact where I didn’t have to worry about accidentally murdering someone at the end. It was nice, to not have to be so careful for just a little while!”
“I told you it would be hard! I told you it meant hard work!”
“But you didn’t say there wouldn’t be breaks!” she’s near tears when she kicks at a nearby rock, sending it skyrocketing into the air. “I just wanted one evening spent in the company of someone who isn’t as fragile as glass in my hands! And you can’t say anything to me! You’re not allowed!”
He’s furious and trying hard not to let those black veins erupt across his face. “Why not?”
“Because you belong to Elena! And if we get closer than this, if we keep doing this, I’m going to do something stupid like start loving you. And then you’ll have another crazy vampire bitch out there, stalking you and resenting Elena-thinking that it’d be a lot easier if she wasn’t around.”
The silence that falls is tense and awkward. She glares at him and he tries his damnedest not to retaliate to the hypothetical threat to his girlfriend. She sighs and shakes her head, stepping backwards until she’s a good distance away from him.
“Elena’s my only friend-the only one still willing to talk to me now that I’m . . .” Caroline trails off, raising watery blue eyes to lock gazes with him. “I think it’d be really sucky to repay her by going all Ali Larter-Obsessed on her. And it’s too hard to do if you keep acting like you care so much-“
“I do care!” he protests.
“And I always read too much into these things,” she bites her lip and looks up at the moon. “Katherine said it’s ridiculously easy to fall in love with you. And she was right. We’re friends now, and that shouldn’t change.”
“It’s not going to,” he assures her. “And because we’re friends, I will continue to watch out for you, to try and help you. And if I think you’re self-destructing, I’ll try to stop it. And I know it feels like it’s too much, but remember what I said. Your emotions are heightened right now-what you think is love is just gratitude.”
She closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath. “Are you sure?”
He’s not. “Of course,” he gives her a gentle smile. “You need someone to keep you grounded, Caroline. Especially in these first few months. You really think Damon’s going to step up to the plate in that respect? I can’t force you to do anything, but you are my friend, and I’m not going to give up easily because there might be complications later. I told you that I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. That includes anything you might do to yourself.”
She snorts, trying unsuccessfully to squash a laugh before it escaped her lips. “You might want to redefine that, Stefan. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve got a lot of issues.”
“What? You?” he shakes his head and smiles wide. “I don’t believe it.”
She does laugh this time, but it’s short and sort of rueful. She gives him a heavy look and then nods her head towards the woods. He smiles and falls into step beside her.
After their hunt, she’s safe inside her bed and he’s brooding in front of the fireplace.
“I told you this would happen,” Damon says, offering him a drink.
He doesn’t say anything, just reaches up silently and takes the glass.
~*~
Author: Eena
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: LJ Smith owns Vampire Diaries.
Characters: Caroline/Stefan
Spoilers: 2.03-Bad Moon Rising.
Summary: “You’re not Katherine, Stefan. You can’t handle what you’re starting.”
Notes: Response to the Doomed Ships Comment Ficathon.
~*~
She’s sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace, legs crossed and her hands resting behind her as she leaned back. She’s a barely put together mess. Old gray sweatpants, a white tank top, and green flip-flops-it’s obvious she’s dressed in a hurry and the raggedy state of her ponytail belies her rush to leave her house today. Her eyes are focused on the unlit logs and her face is disconcertingly blank.
“She’s been there since ten,” Damon informs him from the couch. His brother has his legs up on the coffee table, a book on his lap, and a glass of scotch in hand. Stefan takes a moment to be concerned about that. Damon’s slowly but surely becoming an alcoholic. The idea itself is at least three distinct levels of scary. “She also won’t talk to me.”
“Hate you,” Caroline offers without turning around. Her words are hostile, but her tone lacks its usual conviction. He arches an eyebrow at Damon and his brother shrugs disinterestedly. Damon’s eyes are fixed on his book, but Stefan knows his brother is quietly observing and cataloguing everything about Caroline’s behaviour.
He walks over, silently taking a seat next to her. He looks at her instead of the fireplace and after a few minutes, she starts talking. “I broke up with Matt.”
Damon snorts from his spot over on the couch, and Stefan spares a second to glare at him. If Caroline heard him (and there’s little she can’t hear nowadays) she gives no indication of it. She just continues to stare at the dark fireplace, not even acknowledging Stefan when he places a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“Well, technically he broke up with me,” she amends quickly. “I drove him to it. It’s the best for him. I can’t-yet. I’m not good enough yet.”
Now, she turns to him. He sees shattered blue eyes and tears tracks that must be hours old. “But I really wanted to be.”
“I know,” he says, voice full of remorse. She sniffles and very slowly tilts sideways. Soon, her head is in his lap and her legs are drawn up against her chest with her arms encircling them. He’s at a loss with what to do. He chances a glance at Damon and finds his brother laughing at his discomfort. Stefan turns back to the quivering blonde mess on his lap and tentatively puts a hand on her head. “Caroline, I-“
“Katherine was in my room this morning,” she interrupts suddenly.
That’s enough to wipe the grin off Damon’s face and he’s joining them by the fireplace in the blink of an eye. He grabs Caroline by the arm roughly and Stefan responds by pushing him back before carefully drawing Caroline back up to a sitting position. Damon rolls his eyes at Stefan before turning back to Caroline with barely contained agitation.
“Katherine?” Damon prompts, his smile full of mock-cheer and nonchalance.
Caroline rests her head on Stefan’s shoulder, hands picking at the imaginary lint on her pants. “She wants to be best friends. Or something.” Caroline turns her head upwards and looks directly into Stefan’s eyes. “She said ‘no rules’.”
He feels a tremor of fear. But he hides it and smiles reassuringly.
“What did you say?” Damon asks, the fake smile gone.
“I told her I had mid-terms next week,” she shrugs weakly. “I might have stolen that from Alias, but whatever.”
“You told her no,” Stefan is unable to hide his worry this time.
“Katherine hates hearing no,” Damon muses quietly. “How’d you manage to do that, Blondie?”
She shrugs again. “What was she going to do? Kill me? I’m already dead.”
Damon frowns. “You could be deader.”
Another shrug. “Doesn’t matter.”
Stefan slips an arm around her waist and gives her a squeeze. “You said you didn’t want to die, remember?”
She shakes her head and then gets to her feet. “I’m stupid, why do you ever listen to me?”
Stefan follows her to the liquor cabinet, his brow furrowed with displeasure. “You’re not stupid, Caroline.”
“Yeah,” Damon chimes in. “Shallow and more than a bit self-centered, but stupid? Nah.”
She raises a glass of scotch to her lips, pausing briefly to allow her gaze to capture Stefan’s. Her blue eyes are carefully blank and more than a little cold. Stefan struggles and can’t find the words he needs to say.
She knocks back the drink and leaves.
~*~
She barely speaks to anyone in the following week. Stefan has taken to spending the night in her room while Damon patrols the surrounding neighbourhood. Katherine doesn’t show her face again, and he wonders why they thought she would. Katherine’s not one for predictability.
Her first day back at school, Caroline hands in her pom-poms, resigns from every committee and club she’s in, and stops all her volunteer work. He asks her about it, more than a little worried at this point. He’s watching her slip away from herself, piece by piece. But she seems unconcerned with any of it.
“It’s hard to read to a bunch of sick kids when all you can think of is how easy it would be to feed on them since they’re too weak to fight off a cold, let alone a vampire.”
He stops her, grabbing her by the wrist and looking deep into her eyes. “Don’t do this, Caroline.”
She looks back at him blankly-he’s starting to hate that empty expression. “Don’t do what, Stefan?”
“Don’t throw away your life because you think you shouldn’t have it anymore,” Stefan shakes her head. “Don’t you understand? First it’s the things you love, then the people you love. Pretty soon you’re flicking off that switch and you’ll be too dead inside to care about anything you do.”
A ghost of a smile curves her lips. “Katherine’ right; you are preachy.”
“What’s Katherine got to do with this?”
She shrugs. “Nothing, everything-how should I know? She’s your ex.”
“Caroline-“
“Relax Stefan,” she says with a small laugh. There’s something like a genuine smile threatening in the pursing of her lips. “I said you were preachy; I didn’t say you were wrong.”
~*~
He comes home from Elena’s one night and finds her on the couch, Damon on top of her, kissing her wildly. His shirt’s gone and her pants are bunched up and hanging off her right ankle. He curses and they pull apart, Damon looking annoyed while she just stares.
“What the hell?” is all he can say.
Damon groans as he gets up off her, smiling apologetically as he shrugs his shirt back on. “And that’s why I call him Saint Stefan. The patron saint of cock-blockers.”
She’s pulling on her pants silently and Damon rolls his eyes at Stefan. “I think I actually miss her blubbering. This silent assassin stuff is getting kind of boring.”
Stefan glares. Damon snorts. “Hey, at least it’s not your girlfriend, this time.”
The anger is blinding for one second, and in the next he’s throwing his brother across the room. Damon collides with a bookshelf, a few of the heavier volumes tumbling off and hitting him in the head. “What the fuck! You’re not her daddy, Stefan! You play teacher-pupil all you want-it’s my damn blood that changed her. She’s my child-it’s natural, between her and me. So cram the jealous boyfriend act before I tell Elena about this latest twist in the soap opera of our lives.”
Stefan shakes his head, fangs itching to elongate. “Stop trying to turn this on me. You’re taking advantage of her, and you know how confused she is right now!”
“She came to me!” Damon reveals with a smirk. “And I don’t have to turn anything on you, little brother. You’re so goddamn sanctimonious sometimes-but you’re little better than me. She’s confused, you say? So why the hell are you sleeping in her room and letting her crawl into your lap when she’s upset? New vampires fall in and out of infatuations like that! And you’re feeding the fire with your buddy-buddy, ‘I’ll protect you always’ bullshit.”
“Shut up, Damon,” Stefan’s voice is dangerously low.
Damon rolls his eyes. “You’re not Katherine, Stefan. You can’t handle what you’re starting. She’s already halfway to thinking she loves you, and you’re so damn happy to have another vampire to hang with, you’re ignoring it. Elena’s great and everything, but there’s stuff you have to do without her or she’ll get all squicky about kissing you. You’re delusional if you think this is heading any other way. And I’d hate to break it to you, little brother-but teenage girls these days hate to share.”
Stefan’s lips curl back in a savage snarl. He finds he can’t stand to look at his brother anymore. He turns to the couch, mouth already forming the words of disappointment for her. But the couch is empty and the front door is open.
Damon’s beside him and deliberately bumping Stefan with his shoulder as Damon headed towards the stairs. “Seriously, I could have gotten laid.”
~*~
She doesn’t speak to him for two days. She makes a show of talking to anyone but him, and Elena’s eyebrows are almost up to her hairline at the sudden change.
“What, did you make her feed on a skunk or something?”
He sighs and shrugs. “She thinks I’m getting overbearing.”
His girlfriend is all dimples and sweetness. “Is that because, maybe you are?”
He laughs, but it’s forced and the real thing he’s worried about is that Damon may be right.
~*~
“You know, I’m not back in love with him or something stupid.”
He’s been spying on her hunt for half an hour, and she’s suddenly frustrated with it. He walks out of the shadows and comes to a stop in front of her. The moonlight is good tonight, and her hair looks almost white under its shine. She’s got one hip jutting out, arms crossed tightly under her chest, and the first real expression he’s seen on her face in weeks. It’s an annoyed expression, but it’s still better than the emptiness.
“I didn’t say you were,” he replies slowly. “I just said you were confused.”
She rolls her eyes and turns on her heel. “I understand sex just fine, Stefan,” she says with an angry flip of her hair.
“I don’t understand why it was Damon,” Stefan pushes, his own calm slowly deteriorating alongside her attitude.
She spins suddenly, right in his face in the blink of an eye. “Who else was it going to be?” she demands. “Who? I don’t know if I have enough control not to kill a human, and there aren’t a lot of other vampires around. Damon’s an ass, but he could have gotten the job done.”
“Stop being crass,” he orders, fuming slightly.
She shoves him back a few feet. “Stop acting like you can tell me what to do!” she shouts. “I just wanted some contact with another person. Contact where I didn’t have to worry about accidentally murdering someone at the end. It was nice, to not have to be so careful for just a little while!”
“I told you it would be hard! I told you it meant hard work!”
“But you didn’t say there wouldn’t be breaks!” she’s near tears when she kicks at a nearby rock, sending it skyrocketing into the air. “I just wanted one evening spent in the company of someone who isn’t as fragile as glass in my hands! And you can’t say anything to me! You’re not allowed!”
He’s furious and trying hard not to let those black veins erupt across his face. “Why not?”
“Because you belong to Elena! And if we get closer than this, if we keep doing this, I’m going to do something stupid like start loving you. And then you’ll have another crazy vampire bitch out there, stalking you and resenting Elena-thinking that it’d be a lot easier if she wasn’t around.”
The silence that falls is tense and awkward. She glares at him and he tries his damnedest not to retaliate to the hypothetical threat to his girlfriend. She sighs and shakes her head, stepping backwards until she’s a good distance away from him.
“Elena’s my only friend-the only one still willing to talk to me now that I’m . . .” Caroline trails off, raising watery blue eyes to lock gazes with him. “I think it’d be really sucky to repay her by going all Ali Larter-Obsessed on her. And it’s too hard to do if you keep acting like you care so much-“
“I do care!” he protests.
“And I always read too much into these things,” she bites her lip and looks up at the moon. “Katherine said it’s ridiculously easy to fall in love with you. And she was right. We’re friends now, and that shouldn’t change.”
“It’s not going to,” he assures her. “And because we’re friends, I will continue to watch out for you, to try and help you. And if I think you’re self-destructing, I’ll try to stop it. And I know it feels like it’s too much, but remember what I said. Your emotions are heightened right now-what you think is love is just gratitude.”
She closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath. “Are you sure?”
He’s not. “Of course,” he gives her a gentle smile. “You need someone to keep you grounded, Caroline. Especially in these first few months. You really think Damon’s going to step up to the plate in that respect? I can’t force you to do anything, but you are my friend, and I’m not going to give up easily because there might be complications later. I told you that I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. That includes anything you might do to yourself.”
She snorts, trying unsuccessfully to squash a laugh before it escaped her lips. “You might want to redefine that, Stefan. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve got a lot of issues.”
“What? You?” he shakes his head and smiles wide. “I don’t believe it.”
She does laugh this time, but it’s short and sort of rueful. She gives him a heavy look and then nods her head towards the woods. He smiles and falls into step beside her.
After their hunt, she’s safe inside her bed and he’s brooding in front of the fireplace.
“I told you this would happen,” Damon says, offering him a drink.
He doesn’t say anything, just reaches up silently and takes the glass.
~*~