(no subject)
I'm over people. im tired of people. i can't take thema ny more. and sadly its the people that are closes to me that i am over.
he keeps shoving his oppions about jacob down my throat. i can't deal with that. he doesnt' seem to graspt hat maybe jacob doesn't feel the same way. ok. my sister told me it sounded like i was being played. so i have been very careful about everything. but no that couldn't be because jacob is such an amazing god like person he would never do that cuz he "loves" me sooo much. and i need to stop seeing everyboyd. i need to focus in on jacob. i need to be pyscho crazy over him. maybe hes not right for me. i have thought of this. its not me running from something good its me simply being a fucking realist. like i always have been. he doesn't like david because he thinks im ruinning my shot with jacob. ok jacob is NOT here. david is awsome. he is really ncie and really just nice to be around. i don't feel pressureed with him about anything. its a good just understanding that its whatever. its not nothing and it isn't something. but aj doesn't grasp that. its horrible he has to be a horrible person and blah blah blah. im just over it. so i may not move to sac. its still not me being scared of love. its simply me being a fucking adult. i may not be able to get into school up there. and if i can't then i cand own here. every move i make is wrong. all wrong because it doesn't center around jacob. ok MY LIFE doesn't center around him. its my life. if he doesn't stop medelling in it hes going to get hurt. i can't seem to make him understand that. i can't seem to make him understand that im over it all. hes pushing so hard that i don't even want to talk to jacob any more. i don't want to write him i dont' want to go to sac i dont' want anythign to do with him because of aj pushing me soo freaking hard in that directiong and shoving every lil thought he has down my throat. im over it all. i can't stand to talk to jacob anymore. thats horrible. i told him i didn't know and that i would figure out because its MY life. but no he had/has to keep pushing. and now im just over it all. i don't tell him nothing. he thinks its funny, its a joke to him. its not to me. its my life he playing games with. and im trying not to let him effect me but he wont stop. for anything he just wont stop. i did love jacob i don't think i do anymore im soo over it. soo over everyone. i want solitude. he needs to leave me alone. it takes a lot not to hit him. more than i think i have. i walked away. he didn't see it but i walked away. i can't stand the sight of him right now. its exhausting...im over people because of him...
he keeps shoving his oppions about jacob down my throat. i can't deal with that. he doesnt' seem to graspt hat maybe jacob doesn't feel the same way. ok. my sister told me it sounded like i was being played. so i have been very careful about everything. but no that couldn't be because jacob is such an amazing god like person he would never do that cuz he "loves" me sooo much. and i need to stop seeing everyboyd. i need to focus in on jacob. i need to be pyscho crazy over him. maybe hes not right for me. i have thought of this. its not me running from something good its me simply being a fucking realist. like i always have been. he doesn't like david because he thinks im ruinning my shot with jacob. ok jacob is NOT here. david is awsome. he is really ncie and really just nice to be around. i don't feel pressureed with him about anything. its a good just understanding that its whatever. its not nothing and it isn't something. but aj doesn't grasp that. its horrible he has to be a horrible person and blah blah blah. im just over it. so i may not move to sac. its still not me being scared of love. its simply me being a fucking adult. i may not be able to get into school up there. and if i can't then i cand own here. every move i make is wrong. all wrong because it doesn't center around jacob. ok MY LIFE doesn't center around him. its my life. if he doesn't stop medelling in it hes going to get hurt. i can't seem to make him understand that. i can't seem to make him understand that im over it all. hes pushing so hard that i don't even want to talk to jacob any more. i don't want to write him i dont' want to go to sac i dont' want anythign to do with him because of aj pushing me soo freaking hard in that directiong and shoving every lil thought he has down my throat. im over it all. i can't stand to talk to jacob anymore. thats horrible. i told him i didn't know and that i would figure out because its MY life. but no he had/has to keep pushing. and now im just over it all. i don't tell him nothing. he thinks its funny, its a joke to him. its not to me. its my life he playing games with. and im trying not to let him effect me but he wont stop. for anything he just wont stop. i did love jacob i don't think i do anymore im soo over it. soo over everyone. i want solitude. he needs to leave me alone. it takes a lot not to hit him. more than i think i have. i walked away. he didn't see it but i walked away. i can't stand the sight of him right now. its exhausting...im over people because of him...