(no subject)
So, I am watching HBO's multi-part documentary series on Alzheimers and it is somewhat depressing but very interesting. I am presently watching The Memory Tapes which chronicles a number of people with the disease. There was this one lady who was in her 70s and she lived in a nursing home and talked to herself in the mirror thinking it was someone else, a friend yet she was obtuse to the fact that it was simply her reflection. She had no idea that she had totally lost it. It seems that those who are aware of their inabilities are, in a way, worse off because they know it is all downhill from their present state, but once you are at the bottom of the hill you loose your capacity to see the grace from which you've fallen ...
She was pathetic but her situation was somehow far less depressing than that of a man in his 60s who worked to develop computers and invented CDs and DVDs. He was is (was) a genius and knows the grim reality of what lays in his future. He was planning his suicide. It re-affirmed my support of one's right to die before your at the bottom of a hill talking to yourself in a mirror.
This series has also has me questioning my decision not to have children. Wait, let me re-phrase that ... I know I do not want children but there are practical matters that once must consider in leiu of that. I will probably live to a decent age and I will probably be a widdow. All these people are cared for by their children but if you chose not to procreate what happens when your like 80? Do I like become government property?
In other news:
My tumor hurts and I am very ready for monday's 7am surgery.
This is what I will be subjected to. Also they basically but a handle in up your vagina so they can move your uterus as needed ... as you can see the patient in this image is pretty much spread eagle. But I will only have 3 or 4 tiny scars and it will be nice to have this golf ball sized tumor filled with teeth and hair out of my pelvis.