God, I surrender...
Watched Bruce Almighty tonight w/ Shannon and Drew and one of the little girls Shan was watching. The first half hour was really annoying cuz Jim Carey annoys the crap out of me, but in the end, I thought the message was pretty good for such an annoying character...
That one line, has really gotten to me tonight. I surrender.
I came home and decided it's the first of the year and all, so I should start out with a post. I wanted to make a list of some of the blessings I had this past 2003 year, so as I was getting ready for bed, I was thinking about some of them. I was having a really hard time remembering what all happened this year, so I decided to read through my old journals to refresh my memory.
Looking over my old posts, I'll have to admit, they all seemed quite dismal. Probably because 2003 was one of the hardest years of my Christian life. Yet, I don't meant that as a complaint. I know the word "trials" has quite a negative connotation, but when I notice the trials I face, they don't come across as bad to me. 2003 is a year I will not forget; because I look at it, and feel motivation to press on. To learn from the past. To have faith that it will all make me stronger. Already I can see how much I've changed and grown over this past year. Although not always fun or easy, I have been learning so much, becoming more mature, and more wise. This time of reflection has given me a clearer vision as to how I need to do things differently. I'm definately seeing especially here at this last month, how much I've been slipping spiritually. I'm pretty numb right now. Talking the talk, and even going through with the actions, but in my heart, my flame is running dim. I read over a quote I wrote in an old post that said we spend time with God not to form a relationship with Him, but because we have a relationship with him. Where's the love? Honestly, I don't know where it's gone. I do love God, I really do...but, my actions don't seem to be proving it. Each day, I pick something over Him. Sleep, piano, cleaning, friends, Drew, internet... these things have begun to crowd out what really is important. I want things to change. I want it all to be about Him, because that is all that matters. I consider it all a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of my Lord and Savior.
The question I have to ask myself daily this year, is, what is most important? It's all about Him. It's all about Him. And that's what I want it to be. Will it be easy? No, because I'm human. But is it possible? Yes, because He is God. I'm ready for an adventure--and I know this year has one in store. Praise God for the last, for the growth and the trials, and praise God for the next--for what is yet to come. It's gonna rock.
That one line, has really gotten to me tonight. I surrender.
I came home and decided it's the first of the year and all, so I should start out with a post. I wanted to make a list of some of the blessings I had this past 2003 year, so as I was getting ready for bed, I was thinking about some of them. I was having a really hard time remembering what all happened this year, so I decided to read through my old journals to refresh my memory.
Looking over my old posts, I'll have to admit, they all seemed quite dismal. Probably because 2003 was one of the hardest years of my Christian life. Yet, I don't meant that as a complaint. I know the word "trials" has quite a negative connotation, but when I notice the trials I face, they don't come across as bad to me. 2003 is a year I will not forget; because I look at it, and feel motivation to press on. To learn from the past. To have faith that it will all make me stronger. Already I can see how much I've changed and grown over this past year. Although not always fun or easy, I have been learning so much, becoming more mature, and more wise. This time of reflection has given me a clearer vision as to how I need to do things differently. I'm definately seeing especially here at this last month, how much I've been slipping spiritually. I'm pretty numb right now. Talking the talk, and even going through with the actions, but in my heart, my flame is running dim. I read over a quote I wrote in an old post that said we spend time with God not to form a relationship with Him, but because we have a relationship with him. Where's the love? Honestly, I don't know where it's gone. I do love God, I really do...but, my actions don't seem to be proving it. Each day, I pick something over Him. Sleep, piano, cleaning, friends, Drew, internet... these things have begun to crowd out what really is important. I want things to change. I want it all to be about Him, because that is all that matters. I consider it all a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of my Lord and Savior.
The question I have to ask myself daily this year, is, what is most important? It's all about Him. It's all about Him. And that's what I want it to be. Will it be easy? No, because I'm human. But is it possible? Yes, because He is God. I'm ready for an adventure--and I know this year has one in store. Praise God for the last, for the growth and the trials, and praise God for the next--for what is yet to come. It's gonna rock.