oh btw...while you were out.........
I'm feeling so ultra bipolar right now
and by that I don't mean the real meaning of bipolar"ism"
I'm not like having fits of rage in-between being at peace or happy or something
I guess I'm just torn between a few different, very strong, emotions at the current time
on the positive end [I know most people like bad news first so the happy makes it better, but I feel that's inappropriate in my current situation(s)] I just got back from one of the best trips of my life
I went to visit my cousin (who is a family practice pediatrician) and his wife (who is an ER doctor) so I could follow them around for a couple days and see what their experiences with medicine have been like. I got some great advice and support from them and saw so many cool things while following them (including a lot of amaaazingly cute little kids, a drug seeker, a psychotic break, and sooooo much more...)
I feel so much better about my choice of career and ability to plow through the process this year after having visited them. They are truly amazing and helped my confidence more than they could possibly know
on the not so positive end, I came back to some...well some news
let's just say it's kinda been an earth rattling week
it was expected, so not earth shattering, but still just as numbing
it hasn't completely hit me yet...it will tho...I can feel it creeping in
it will probably be one night once I'm back at school when I'm sitting there doing homework or applications and mentally preparing myself for the year ahead...
I just...idk...I've never really known how to deal with these situations
I feel this intense nervousness in the pit of my stomach, that feeling after having your heart broken, which is pretty much what happens in these cases
if you want to hear something weird...it was gorgeous outside until I started typing this paragraph...then it started to rain, hard enough that I can hear it from inside, but not see it
fitting
very fitting
I just...don't know what to do with myself
I've been feeling so out of sorts lately, even before current events
just randomly happy or sad, optimistic or downtrodden
I can't explain it, but I've had this weird "butterfly" type feeling in my stomach
more so a week ago into this week, but still so, even now
I'm not sure why
it feels like an intuition thing, hopefully of good things to come, but with my life being what it has been lately, I'm trying not to get my hopes up
and by that I don't mean the real meaning of bipolar"ism"
I'm not like having fits of rage in-between being at peace or happy or something
I guess I'm just torn between a few different, very strong, emotions at the current time
on the positive end [I know most people like bad news first so the happy makes it better, but I feel that's inappropriate in my current situation(s)] I just got back from one of the best trips of my life
I went to visit my cousin (who is a family practice pediatrician) and his wife (who is an ER doctor) so I could follow them around for a couple days and see what their experiences with medicine have been like. I got some great advice and support from them and saw so many cool things while following them (including a lot of amaaazingly cute little kids, a drug seeker, a psychotic break, and sooooo much more...)
I feel so much better about my choice of career and ability to plow through the process this year after having visited them. They are truly amazing and helped my confidence more than they could possibly know
on the not so positive end, I came back to some...well some news
let's just say it's kinda been an earth rattling week
it was expected, so not earth shattering, but still just as numbing
it hasn't completely hit me yet...it will tho...I can feel it creeping in
it will probably be one night once I'm back at school when I'm sitting there doing homework or applications and mentally preparing myself for the year ahead...
I just...idk...I've never really known how to deal with these situations
I feel this intense nervousness in the pit of my stomach, that feeling after having your heart broken, which is pretty much what happens in these cases
if you want to hear something weird...it was gorgeous outside until I started typing this paragraph...then it started to rain, hard enough that I can hear it from inside, but not see it
fitting
very fitting
I just...don't know what to do with myself
I've been feeling so out of sorts lately, even before current events
just randomly happy or sad, optimistic or downtrodden
I can't explain it, but I've had this weird "butterfly" type feeling in my stomach
more so a week ago into this week, but still so, even now
I'm not sure why
it feels like an intuition thing, hopefully of good things to come, but with my life being what it has been lately, I'm trying not to get my hopes up