(no subject)
I have some sort of sleeping disorder. Every night, about three hours before my designated time for resting, I have to prepare myself for sleeping. It's a very lengthy process deciding what time I should probably lay down for the night. I refer to it as "laying down" because well, I'm rarely sleeping livejournal. I'm just laying down....staring at all of the dark things in my room . Side story: sometimes I like to pretend I have some sort of a power (much like Sabrina the Teenage Witch) and that if I point hard enough that things will levitate towards me or my desk will suddenly be organized. That, of course, never happens. But whatever. Anyways, back to me not being able to sleep.
At around 6pm, I start wondering what time I should lay down. I count the hours until I need to wake up. I would like a full ten hours, but this is completely impossible, so I usually convince myself that I can fully operate at around 5-7 hours. Definitely not the case by morning. I lay down in bed and I hate the feeling of wearing pants and then they get pushed up to my thighs under the covers. OH MY GOD I HATE THAT FEELING! So, I lay down (sans pants)and then I go through my texts that I receive that day and delete the ones that are like "omg wat ru doin 2nyte?!?" or "oh hay plz call me ASAP" I keep the ones that inspire me in some way. And then I shift around under the covers and thing about that episode of Tyra I saw all about the bed bugs and how dirty our beds are. Around NOW is when I start thinking of how many micro-organisms are crawling around my body....and then I get really uncomfortable in my own skin. ENTER MY ANXIETY LEFT STAGE.
so here is when I start getting really anxious and I can't stop thinking about the things that I need to do the next day and I convince myself that I will have no time to do it the next day. And usually what needs to be done involves money in some way, which I'm having a huge lack of lately.
...................
basically what I'm trying to say is, I'm really tired and tonight will be another sleepless night. good god
At around 6pm, I start wondering what time I should lay down. I count the hours until I need to wake up. I would like a full ten hours, but this is completely impossible, so I usually convince myself that I can fully operate at around 5-7 hours. Definitely not the case by morning. I lay down in bed and I hate the feeling of wearing pants and then they get pushed up to my thighs under the covers. OH MY GOD I HATE THAT FEELING! So, I lay down (sans pants)and then I go through my texts that I receive that day and delete the ones that are like "omg wat ru doin 2nyte?!?" or "oh hay plz call me ASAP" I keep the ones that inspire me in some way. And then I shift around under the covers and thing about that episode of Tyra I saw all about the bed bugs and how dirty our beds are. Around NOW is when I start thinking of how many micro-organisms are crawling around my body....and then I get really uncomfortable in my own skin. ENTER MY ANXIETY LEFT STAGE.
so here is when I start getting really anxious and I can't stop thinking about the things that I need to do the next day and I convince myself that I will have no time to do it the next day. And usually what needs to be done involves money in some way, which I'm having a huge lack of lately.
...................
basically what I'm trying to say is, I'm really tired and tonight will be another sleepless night. good god