I Am Stronger than You Know
I just got a phone call from my Grandma, and I never thought I'd say this, but, it really brightened my day. For those of you who may not have my family tree straight, this is my father's mother... the grandma who was married to my Grandpa who passed away in March. She is doing WONDERFULLY. She has been going to church regularly since Grandpa's death and recently she has made a few friends in the church. They are all going to lunch together next week and then to see a play! And my Grandma is signed up to go on a two-day trip to Pennsylvania in November. I'm so so so happy for her, that she is making friends and having fun without Grandpa. When he first died I was so scared that she might drink herself to death or in the very least be very depressed (she suffers from clinical depression anyway) and it sounds like the exact opposite happened. We talked for almost half an hour about school and moving and her new friends and everything. We even shared a laugh about how apparently her brain has shrunk. (She had an MRI a couple of weeks ago for her balance problems.) She sounded almost as happy as she did when we told her we were moving out to her town.
It made me feel great because I'm glad she's doing so well, but also because it made me remember how I come from a long line of strong women.
Grandma: Lost her husband of 47 years, and now only a few months later is making new friends and starting the next part of her life, without missing a beat.
Mom: Was left by her husband with no family to help her (besides Fred and me) and no job. She went on ONE INTERVIEW and got that job. Talk about rising to a challenge. That's not to mention surviving when her father died when she was just 15, not being able to go to college because of that, having a physically abusive brother (who beat her unconcious once) and a verbally abusive (and violent although he never hit her) husband. And not only did she survive, but she still believes in love and family and keeps right on trying.
Me: When my father first moved out I took care of my mom, got her a social worker, made sure she ate, held her while she cried and so on. And also took care of my brother, talking for hours, all sleeping in the same room, helping him with whatever he needed. Then when ,my father sold the house out from under us I did almost all of the packing and got us ready to move. Besides being pretty well adjusted for someone who was verbally abused and lied to for years.
It made me realize that the women in my family do not need men, and it seems to me that they thrive when they don't have them. If my Grandma can get out and make new friends and my mom went on one interview after being out of the workforce for 15 years, than I can get over what I am dealing with now. That's what the women in my family do.
Whether or not I can still be friends without hurting myself remains to be seen, but it would be a disservice to Mom and Grandma not to try.
Love always, (no matter what)
Kelly Jean
This Georgia road is red
The Georgia sky is blue
And it looks just like the sky
That carried me to you
The good Lord up in heaven knows
What I've been going through
And he's whispering to me
That I'll get over you
My angel in distress
You look OK to me
I'll send you my address
I could easily stay with you
On your side of heaven's door
'Cause I don't love you any less
But I can't love you anymore
It's Tuscaloosa, Birmingham
Or Baton Rouge
Hell I don't know just where I'm at
To tell the truth
But the good Lord up in heaven knows
What you've been going through
And he's whispering to me
That he'll take care of you
My angel in distress
You look OK to me
I'll send you my address
When I know what it will be
I could easily stay with you
On your side of heaven's door
'Cause I don't love you any less
But I can't love you anymore