This really isn't for anyone
but lately it's the only thing that keeps me sane. I don't know. Maybe I'm just nuts. Maybe I'm that crazy kid. The one that makes others look better by comparison. On another note...
I've been feeling more and more alienated lately. Don't talk to anyone anymore and the more and more I try, it seems the more I get shut out.
Oh well. Such is life I guess. I just got done reading Go Ask Alice. Let's put it out on the table...the book is really fucked up. I felt bad and enlightened and dirty all at the same time. I don't know whether I could turn into that and that scares the living shit out of me. Not the dead shit...but the living variety.
I've been going to bars a lot lately. It always ends the same. Alone with a shot and a beer. Hoping the waitress will come by one more time. God that's sad. Just realized how sad that actually is. Looking for care in the restaurant business. Like looking for truth in the government or love in a whore house.
My hands have been going numb lately. I don't think that's supposed to happen. I'll deal with it later.
I think I am losing my ability to concentrate as well. I either sleep in class, angry in class, or a combination of the two.
I've noticed that people, in nature, are bad. I've noticed that lies are spurted out like the used CO2 we exhale. I've been lied to a lot lately. When I catch them in the lie, they just deny it. Or they denied it for a while, and finally I find out or they tell me or they hide things from me because they think that I am a child. Great world.
I want to write like Palahniuk. I want to go out to L.A. and write for a living. I think I could make it out there. I want to direct and write and produce and be important. I want to get money and help my friends out and condemn others. I want to be someone that others look to for counsel. I think that's the correct spelling... That's what I want to do with my life. I want to gain notoriety. I want people to know my name and see it on screen and say I knew that guy. Or I went to high school with him. Or I think I'm going to give him a call and see what he's up to.
Well, that was a bunch of writing for nothing said. Until next time ladies and gents. Have a good one.
I've been feeling more and more alienated lately. Don't talk to anyone anymore and the more and more I try, it seems the more I get shut out.
Oh well. Such is life I guess. I just got done reading Go Ask Alice. Let's put it out on the table...the book is really fucked up. I felt bad and enlightened and dirty all at the same time. I don't know whether I could turn into that and that scares the living shit out of me. Not the dead shit...but the living variety.
I've been going to bars a lot lately. It always ends the same. Alone with a shot and a beer. Hoping the waitress will come by one more time. God that's sad. Just realized how sad that actually is. Looking for care in the restaurant business. Like looking for truth in the government or love in a whore house.
My hands have been going numb lately. I don't think that's supposed to happen. I'll deal with it later.
I think I am losing my ability to concentrate as well. I either sleep in class, angry in class, or a combination of the two.
I've noticed that people, in nature, are bad. I've noticed that lies are spurted out like the used CO2 we exhale. I've been lied to a lot lately. When I catch them in the lie, they just deny it. Or they denied it for a while, and finally I find out or they tell me or they hide things from me because they think that I am a child. Great world.
I want to write like Palahniuk. I want to go out to L.A. and write for a living. I think I could make it out there. I want to direct and write and produce and be important. I want to get money and help my friends out and condemn others. I want to be someone that others look to for counsel. I think that's the correct spelling... That's what I want to do with my life. I want to gain notoriety. I want people to know my name and see it on screen and say I knew that guy. Or I went to high school with him. Or I think I'm going to give him a call and see what he's up to.
Well, that was a bunch of writing for nothing said. Until next time ladies and gents. Have a good one.