Split blogs
So my Korean blog is here:
http://spydrnyx.blogspot.com/
My lj blog is more for bitching and emotional outbursts, since I don't want my family to think I'm losing my mind and depressed. The second my mom thinks I'm depressed she'll want to talk and help me out, and honestly that's the last thing I feel like doing. I just need an outlet other than Ann or tissues, and writing has always helped.
I'm just not motivated to do much. There's a whole new country out there, and I honestly just want to lay around in my bed. On one hand it's warm and sticky out there, and so avoiding the sun isn't a bad idea. Even the though of walking to the coffee shop seems like a big ordeal. But I'm being pathetic and know it. The stupid thing is, all I want is a fucking hug and I'd feel so much better. I adore Ann and can talk to her about the way I feel, but it's not like I want her to hold me as I bawl my eyes out. I really am not enjoying not being able to use my typical defense mechanisms here. Six months or a year from now when I'm back home I know I'll be in a better place and look fondly on this all, and probably forget about my shitty days. But right now, a fucking hug! Maybe pizza too....mmm pizza. Okay, I want a hug and a pizza. At least I can get pizza...that'll be my motivation for getting out of the house later....
http://spydrnyx.blogspot.com/
My lj blog is more for bitching and emotional outbursts, since I don't want my family to think I'm losing my mind and depressed. The second my mom thinks I'm depressed she'll want to talk and help me out, and honestly that's the last thing I feel like doing. I just need an outlet other than Ann or tissues, and writing has always helped.
I'm just not motivated to do much. There's a whole new country out there, and I honestly just want to lay around in my bed. On one hand it's warm and sticky out there, and so avoiding the sun isn't a bad idea. Even the though of walking to the coffee shop seems like a big ordeal. But I'm being pathetic and know it. The stupid thing is, all I want is a fucking hug and I'd feel so much better. I adore Ann and can talk to her about the way I feel, but it's not like I want her to hold me as I bawl my eyes out. I really am not enjoying not being able to use my typical defense mechanisms here. Six months or a year from now when I'm back home I know I'll be in a better place and look fondly on this all, and probably forget about my shitty days. But right now, a fucking hug! Maybe pizza too....mmm pizza. Okay, I want a hug and a pizza. At least I can get pizza...that'll be my motivation for getting out of the house later....