(no subject)
I have come to the realization the I am one of those people that needs to work in order to be happy. Not that raising three beautiful girls is not work.. just that I need to work outside of the home. When school was still open and I was working I felt that I was a different person. I was happy, motivated, I had more patience with people and I felt good about being me. First time in a long time i felt good about myself too. Now that I am off for the summer I have more time to dwell on all the stuff I have fucked up and too much time to ponder all the fucked up stuff i have experienced. My self confidence is really low again and I am tired all the time. Sleep like shit and when i do actually sleep, its filled with dreams I really want to forget.
I'm restless too. I am not used to not going somewhere during the summer. I usually spend the summers in Jersey but after the heartache of last year I cant bring myself to go back. I want to go but I just cant, not yet. A fear I must get over before this Christmas because thats the plan for this year.
I'm restless too. I am not used to not going somewhere during the summer. I usually spend the summers in Jersey but after the heartache of last year I cant bring myself to go back. I want to go but I just cant, not yet. A fear I must get over before this Christmas because thats the plan for this year.