TERROR!!!!!
FYI,
The US government has a new website, http://www.ready.gov, displaying public service symbols for terrorism readiness, in the tradition of the old duck and cover campaigns after WWII. The best thing about these symbols is that they are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are some symbols and guesses of what they mean:
If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are bald, yell loudly.
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a professional.
Use your flashlight to lift collapsed walls right off you!
The proper way to eliminate viruses is to wash with soap, water, and at least one armless hand.
Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the fuck away.
Hurricanes, animal corpses, and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.
Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. They tend to rub their hands together maniacally.
If a door is closed, karate chop it open.
Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile.
After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.
If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit.
If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton, or Yanni on the radio, it is a psychological terror attack. Cower in the corner or run like hell.
Austin is radioactive move to Houston.
Do not drive a station wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.
The US government has a new website, http://www.ready.gov, displaying public service symbols for terrorism readiness, in the tradition of the old duck and cover campaigns after WWII. The best thing about these symbols is that they are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are some symbols and guesses of what they mean:
If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are bald, yell loudly.
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a professional.
Use your flashlight to lift collapsed walls right off you!
The proper way to eliminate viruses is to wash with soap, water, and at least one armless hand.
Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the fuck away.
Hurricanes, animal corpses, and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.
Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. They tend to rub their hands together maniacally.
If a door is closed, karate chop it open.
Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile.
After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.
If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit.
If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton, or Yanni on the radio, it is a psychological terror attack. Cower in the corner or run like hell.
Austin is radioactive move to Houston.
Do not drive a station wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.