(no subject)
It passed.
So, he paints to not think about it, and his art becomes more and more fantastical (something he hates right now; he wants the reality he lost). To not think about what this could have meant five years ago, if it would have changed a thing.
And he tries not to think about it late at night when Kitty tosses and turns out of his arms (because she can never decide if she wants his touch when she is under extreme stress; not any more). He tries not to be bitter for the time he lost, the family he lost, the friends he lost over the last ten years. Or how all he has ever wanted (the constant) is to marry this beautiful, angry, tiny woman next to him since he was 18 years old and... (and could they have had it already if things had been different? If he had been here? His sister, his dear sister, here, too?). Or, was that even possible now? Because the world had been harsh to them all, and he was barely half a man now.
And he works in the fields, leading some of the other mutants staying (prisoners) here. Because he is a child of the Soviet, of mother Russia, and his hands will always be strong. They will always have use, even if the job changes. And he does not think of his old teacher, Xavier, no longer welcome in his own house by all his students, or all those years ago in Siberia.
"But, if I possess such power, as you say--does it not belong to the State?"
"Power such as yours belongs to the world, Peter--to be used for the good of the all. And believe me: your powers are need!"
He does think of what his father said before he left Russia for this strange, new life of wonder and hell.
"Do as your heart tells you, my son. It will not betray you."
And when he leans down to kiss Kitty on the top of her head, she looks up with a tiny, half smile. What little she can offer as she flips between news channels again and again.
He listens to his heart, and he thinks I want to grow old with you.
So, he paints to not think about it, and his art becomes more and more fantastical (something he hates right now; he wants the reality he lost). To not think about what this could have meant five years ago, if it would have changed a thing.
And he tries not to think about it late at night when Kitty tosses and turns out of his arms (because she can never decide if she wants his touch when she is under extreme stress; not any more). He tries not to be bitter for the time he lost, the family he lost, the friends he lost over the last ten years. Or how all he has ever wanted (the constant) is to marry this beautiful, angry, tiny woman next to him since he was 18 years old and... (and could they have had it already if things had been different? If he had been here? His sister, his dear sister, here, too?). Or, was that even possible now? Because the world had been harsh to them all, and he was barely half a man now.
And he works in the fields, leading some of the other mutants staying (prisoners) here. Because he is a child of the Soviet, of mother Russia, and his hands will always be strong. They will always have use, even if the job changes. And he does not think of his old teacher, Xavier, no longer welcome in his own house by all his students, or all those years ago in Siberia.
"But, if I possess such power, as you say--does it not belong to the State?"
"Power such as yours belongs to the world, Peter--to be used for the good of the all. And believe me: your powers are need!"
He does think of what his father said before he left Russia for this strange, new life of wonder and hell.
"Do as your heart tells you, my son. It will not betray you."
And when he leans down to kiss Kitty on the top of her head, she looks up with a tiny, half smile. What little she can offer as she flips between news channels again and again.
He listens to his heart, and he thinks I want to grow old with you.