Bonding
I feel like I'm contributing again.
When I was teaching -- seems like ages ago, when I took my leave to go after Spike -- I always felt the proudest, the most accomplished, when I made a connection with one of my students. Some of them were tough nuts to crack, and not all of them were exactly receptive. But when that connection was made, when you saw the light in their eyes go off...that was what made it all worthwhile.
I miss being a teacher sometimes.
But while I haven't quite made a connection like that with Melaka yet...we're getting there, I think.
She's a quick study. Hell, she could teach me a thing or two about hand-to-hand. I get the feeling we're still feeling each other out, though. She hasn't taken to me like she has to Faith or Osbourne, or even Angel. Maybe she's picking up on the general sense of wariness from the others; I've suspected for a while now that they think I'm trying to replace Charles Gunn. Or maybe she's just naturally slow to warm up to people; I heard talk about how she and Angel didn't exactly hit it off when they first met.
Or maybe I just have bad breath or something.
But we're getting there. And I feel like I'm helping. Like I'm teaching again.
And it's a good feeling.
I've even gone out on patrol with Angel himself a few times. It's funny...I know about his soul, and I know about his history with Buffy Summers. I know, from talking with Wesley, that Angel can be trusted. Yet, when we're on patrol...it's as if I'm doubly alert. Like I can't help but think he'll tear my throat out if I turn my back on him. I know better...yet it's like an instinct.
Needless to say, we haven't exactly engaged in idle chit-chat when we've been on the clock together.
It probably all stems from what happened with my mother and Spike. Trusting a vampire with my life seems so...foreign. Even though I know this particular vampire to be a force for good.
Hopefully it'll pass soon. I don't want it being a problem when the chips are down. Or the next time the Chase woman has a vision, now that she's back from Sunnydale...
When I was teaching -- seems like ages ago, when I took my leave to go after Spike -- I always felt the proudest, the most accomplished, when I made a connection with one of my students. Some of them were tough nuts to crack, and not all of them were exactly receptive. But when that connection was made, when you saw the light in their eyes go off...that was what made it all worthwhile.
I miss being a teacher sometimes.
But while I haven't quite made a connection like that with Melaka yet...we're getting there, I think.
She's a quick study. Hell, she could teach me a thing or two about hand-to-hand. I get the feeling we're still feeling each other out, though. She hasn't taken to me like she has to Faith or Osbourne, or even Angel. Maybe she's picking up on the general sense of wariness from the others; I've suspected for a while now that they think I'm trying to replace Charles Gunn. Or maybe she's just naturally slow to warm up to people; I heard talk about how she and Angel didn't exactly hit it off when they first met.
Or maybe I just have bad breath or something.
But we're getting there. And I feel like I'm helping. Like I'm teaching again.
And it's a good feeling.
I've even gone out on patrol with Angel himself a few times. It's funny...I know about his soul, and I know about his history with Buffy Summers. I know, from talking with Wesley, that Angel can be trusted. Yet, when we're on patrol...it's as if I'm doubly alert. Like I can't help but think he'll tear my throat out if I turn my back on him. I know better...yet it's like an instinct.
Needless to say, we haven't exactly engaged in idle chit-chat when we've been on the clock together.
It probably all stems from what happened with my mother and Spike. Trusting a vampire with my life seems so...foreign. Even though I know this particular vampire to be a force for good.
Hopefully it'll pass soon. I don't want it being a problem when the chips are down. Or the next time the Chase woman has a vision, now that she's back from Sunnydale...