(no subject)
"The popsicle was invented in 1905 by an 11-year-old boy."
-Real Fact #345
Life throws that in my face with 3 days before my 19th birthday. I'm more ironic than alanis will ever be. I can even get that out, 19th.. I cannot even begin to think about this past year of my life. I'm just not right anymore. It's too much.. & I'm someone who just deals.. but I can't even do it anymore. Too many looks into too many different people. I loved it once, but I really miss the fidelity of close relationships. I'd love to just accept that some of the people in my life now, who weren't here last year, really are friends, but I'm afraid I'm not that stupid. It seems that I'm finally seeing how things might turn out. The people who I shared most of my young life with.. well -we all went our ways.. & now, it's pretty hard to turn back. They may always stay my friends and hang out. but we may never all be on the same page. Well there's one of the hundred reasons to not want to get older.
Mom: So it's your birthday friday. What do you want to do?
me: I dont know. I dont even want to think about it. I'm kinda depressed over it.
mom: Why! Omg, No, Your at a Great Age Steve! .. Stop it!
- I don't know how she stays so optimistic when everyone & everything around her is so fucked. God, I love her.
I've got the best aol radio going right now. - '90s pop. It's perfect. Coming up: Third eye Blind, lenny Kravitz, & Radiohead.
Kev would apreciate this. oh yes.
I've been working on writing a movie. I have a bunch of this shit collected from over the high nights of me sitting here with nothing to do and my mind just flooding with thoughts. I think I'll organize it some more when I get a chance and see what I could do with it. I need to sit in a room with people and dish ideas about the whole project. The idea is to capture the setting that I'm in right now. The oldschoolness of it all- the time, the place, and enviorment of "us" then. something i could really enjoy in ten to fifteen years. A look into the realness of living people. feel me?
don't dare.breathe. weird. away message games. you. nervous-?me. debt. never. 70degrees=sandals. cause & effect. hm. girl.
still got it. cheaa. fuckyou. always a mindfuck. sike-chill.
I've come to the conclusion that I will never be fully happy until it's the nineties again. I want to live life in smelly tshirts, jean shorts, and watershoes with a white convertible blaring hootie & the blowfish at a 24/7 diner. a perfect life full of ciggarettes, zima,,neon, tube socks, and denim jackets. I'm stuck!
LUST.FUCKME, JESUS CHRIST. KILLMYSELF.GIRL.DAMN.FUCKUP.
Livejournal has become the only thing who knows all in my life [omnipresent]. You see the best and the worse of me, and well, I think that's pretty DOPE.
"so, hit me up on my see-through pager. I'm as chill as any."
so in love with my moment. wow.
%@§&©¢£!