They'd discussed it. They'd planned it. And frankly, even though things had been peculiar between them, there was no sense putting it off any longer
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Waking up was a delicate proposition. There wasn't any room for denial; they'd left the room in quite a state, not to mention the blankets, and Giles had to admit he was rather sore himself.
Not nearly as sore as his lover, no doubt. But all the same.
The memories of what'd been done were enough to make him release his possessive grip with a flush, shifting away from Alcuin. By god. He needed to clear his head, find some way to make reparations. He couldn't even bring himself to look at Alcuin.
Alcuin woke a few moments later, perhaps because of the sudden loss of body heat surrounding him. He couldn't stop the soft groan from escaping him because the first thing he felt was a sore stiffness that seemed to permeate his entire body.
The events of the night before then rushed back into his mind. And he actually felt panic rise in his throat for a moment when he realized that Giles was no longer holding him.
"Rupert?" He turned onto his back and was relieved to see that the other man was still in the bed.
Alcuin reached toward him immediately laying a hand on his back, though there was actually a touch of uncharacteristic desperation in his voice when he said, "For you to not leave."
There was a slight ease in his shoulders at the touch. "Surely you've no interest in seeing my face this morning. Not after what you saw last night." He half-turned. "There is no excuse for what I did."
"There is absolutely an excuse," Alcuin said, almost harshly, and moved his hand to touch Giles' face, turning his head more towards him. "Which is that I wanted it. Your face, and you, and everything that happened last night." He paused, then reiterated, "Everything."
That harsh tone is what made Giles eyes flick up to examine Alcuin's face. "You were kind to... to allow me to treat you that poorly." He was almost at a loss for words. "If you only wanted it for my sake, that's almost worse."
Alcuin sighed and stroked his thumb lightly over Giles' cheek. "Perhaps I should be flattered that you think me so good an actor, mon amore. I am quite good, of course, but not that good. Or did you miss the way I screamed your name when I came so hard I thought I would break apart from the sheer pleasure of it?"
He sank back into himself a little. "The physical and the emotional are two very different things." He took a breath and turned a bit more towards Alcuin. "I should be adoring you, agapito. Spoiling you. You deserve consideration."
"And you do not think that it pleases me emotionally to give you what you desire?" Alcuin asked gently. "But more than that... Rupert, I know that you do not understand this, but last night you gave me something I was missing. I truly wanted to submit to you."
He watched Alcuin for a very long moment, quiet and considering.
It didn't... fit. This wasn't what he expected of people who took what Ripper had to give. He always expected recriminations. Misery. Even if they claimed they enjoyed it, even if they came back or brought their own baggage...
He cupped Alcuin's face in his hands and drew him in for a kiss. "There are better ways," he said, finally. "But please. Accept my apology for this one. It wouldn't feel right otherwise."
Alcuin would not lie and say that there were no times last night that had made him uneasy. But there was no need to ennumerate them, not when he had asked Giles to let himself go completely.
He kissed him gently and then murmured, "If you must, I accept. But please just... do not overcompensate now, mon chere. I do not think I can stand it if you go back to being so solicitous."
"I promise with you I will not." He had tried to avoid it, tried to avoid what he knew would make him feel better. But now there was really no going back. "There is something I need to do. But it won't affect you, I promise."
Alcuin hesitated, but then nodded and said, "Of course you may go to whomever will best serve your needs, but I just hope that you know... that you can always come to me."
"Can, yes." Can and should were two different things. He closed his eyes and ran a thumb along Alcuin's jaw. "You must let me take care of you at least today. It will help."
Alcuin wasn't entirely sure if the second part was related to the first, but whatever it was that Giles really needed... it was clear that he didn't want to talk about it, and Alcuin didn't feel that he should push.
So he simply nodded, and then said softly, "Okay."
Not nearly as sore as his lover, no doubt. But all the same.
The memories of what'd been done were enough to make him release his possessive grip with a flush, shifting away from Alcuin. By god. He needed to clear his head, find some way to make reparations. He couldn't even bring himself to look at Alcuin.
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The events of the night before then rushed back into his mind. And he actually felt panic rise in his throat for a moment when he realized that Giles was no longer holding him.
"Rupert?" He turned onto his back and was relieved to see that the other man was still in the bed.
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It didn't... fit. This wasn't what he expected of people who took what Ripper had to give. He always expected recriminations. Misery. Even if they claimed they enjoyed it, even if they came back or brought their own baggage...
He cupped Alcuin's face in his hands and drew him in for a kiss. "There are better ways," he said, finally. "But please. Accept my apology for this one. It wouldn't feel right otherwise."
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He kissed him gently and then murmured, "If you must, I accept. But please just... do not overcompensate now, mon chere. I do not think I can stand it if you go back to being so solicitous."
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So he simply nodded, and then said softly, "Okay."
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