its been a long time
i was reading what a friend of mine had to say.
his name is dan. he lived below me for 4 weeks.
what i read made me feel angry.
im afraid that i will always feel cheated. i wonder if people who loose their friends and family members in rediculous situations like drunk driving or wars feel the same but on a more intense level.
i feel so cheated and mad and sometimes i have a rage where i want to drive really fast and knock things over or just scream so loud.
i get so upset thinking about it all.
dan said he feels bad for talking about it all the time. if dan were in this country and within my reach i would tell him i feel the same. im always trying not to talk about it. or make more of it than it is. or whatever it is that makes us feel like our feelings are not valid.
i wish we didnt care so much about if we thought our feelings were valid. i want to be able to just share them and dont care if people dont want to hear them. i feel them and that makes them important.
i will read this days later and think that my feelings tonight were not validated. that i was being dramatic and felt moved because i read something that a friend wrote 6 months ago.
i dont care.
i love and miss it.
sometimes i just want to scream the words fuck off in a big crowd of people who make this world hard to live in. those people who kill and pull and push and step on others. those people who never have enough money or bags or shirts or shoes or walets or food or drinks or vacations or husbands or wives or love or pride or self confidence or cigars or cars or friends.
then i remember thats not Christ like.
Thank God this life is not about what we can do or be or how great a person we can make ourselves.because i would be the first to go.
his name is dan. he lived below me for 4 weeks.
what i read made me feel angry.
im afraid that i will always feel cheated. i wonder if people who loose their friends and family members in rediculous situations like drunk driving or wars feel the same but on a more intense level.
i feel so cheated and mad and sometimes i have a rage where i want to drive really fast and knock things over or just scream so loud.
i get so upset thinking about it all.
dan said he feels bad for talking about it all the time. if dan were in this country and within my reach i would tell him i feel the same. im always trying not to talk about it. or make more of it than it is. or whatever it is that makes us feel like our feelings are not valid.
i wish we didnt care so much about if we thought our feelings were valid. i want to be able to just share them and dont care if people dont want to hear them. i feel them and that makes them important.
i will read this days later and think that my feelings tonight were not validated. that i was being dramatic and felt moved because i read something that a friend wrote 6 months ago.
i dont care.
i love and miss it.
sometimes i just want to scream the words fuck off in a big crowd of people who make this world hard to live in. those people who kill and pull and push and step on others. those people who never have enough money or bags or shirts or shoes or walets or food or drinks or vacations or husbands or wives or love or pride or self confidence or cigars or cars or friends.
then i remember thats not Christ like.
Thank God this life is not about what we can do or be or how great a person we can make ourselves.because i would be the first to go.