In Each Other's Footsteps

[felis_fidelus]

Day: 16
Characters: Ciel [marzipan_dream], Reeve [felis_fidelus]
Summary: It's not right to leave someone alone with only their bad memories for company. Especially when they're still a child, and when the memories are so painfully similar.
DAY/NIGHT & Time: DAY; just after breakfast
Status: Closed//Incomplete

Comments

[felis_fidelus]

Cait merely shook his head in the negative, quite happy to be petted. "... I don't know. I've seen it work for others, to talk and confront their own pain, but I've never had to do it before myself. But...." Reeve ran a hand over his beard, trying to figure out how to put it. "Therapy. As much as it hurt... as humiliating as it was to admit it, in front of so many people... it helped. A little. To admit it to myself instead of constantly trying to deny it."

Ciel's movement's startled Reeve; Cait squeaked a bit, but didn't resist as he was grabbed. The two looked at each other, master and puppet, blank button eyes managing to express worry. There was something familiar about the boy's gesture. Something about the blind groping, the desperate grasping at thin air that tugged at Reeve's memory. It made him think, oddly enough, of Marlene, when he had held her hostage, half-awake from nightmares and reaching for a father that was half a world away. For someone to hold on to, an anchor to reality. A shield from the monsters that hid under her bed.

Or, and it made him ill to think it, himself as a child, frightened and in pain and desperate for his mother even though he knew she wouldn't come, would never come.

Reeve sighed and closed his eyes. Ironic that he was in this position now. Was this how Subaru had felt, when he had walked into Reeve's cell and found him half out of his mind with shame? And Ciel wasn't capable of hurting him. Ciel was still a little boy... like he had been, so long ago. Alone, frightened, with nowhere to turn. Reeve knew all too well how much it hurt, to have nowhere to turn; he couldn't leave a plea like that unanswered. He couldn't let him suffer alone.

Kneeling down awkwardly, Reeve took a second to get his balance before reaching out hesitantly with his good arm. Avoiding the burns, avoiding the scars, gently pulling the boy into a tentative hug. "... It's all right," Reeve murmured. "I don't know how to be either."

[marzipan_dream]

It took Ciel a moment to pry his eyes open as the words hit his ears and Reeve's arm wrapped around him. It was a unique view. The empty unpleasant cell with it's cold walls and blood stains seemed fuzzy in contrast to the reality of being held.

He was being held close just because he was a frightened little boy. There was nothing sinister about it, nothing at all expected of him. He returned the hug as if he were hugging all the people he couldn't through Reeve. He lay his head on his shoulder.

"I want to go home but if that is not to be, Reeve would you...could you perhaps...listen to my story when I am ready to tell it. I feel like telling you might remove a part of it from my heart, I'm just unable to share it with you now."

[felis_fidelus]

"I know you do. We're...." He lowered his voice to a faint whisper, almost inaudible. "We're working on a way to get out of here. Somehow. To get all of you free."

The grip was a bit painful, given that the bruises on his back hadn't completely healed, but Reeve didn't flinch. Really, after being set on fire and having his shoulder jerked out of socket, this was nothing. After a moment he raised his hand and ruffled Ciel's hair.

"All right. When you're you're ready... you can come to me any time. I promise to listen." Reeve had the feeling it would hurt, to listen, but... that was all right. It was something he could endure, if it would help. And perhaps this way, he could give Ciel the support he needed-- the support Reeve had needed and never received at that age.

"Only when you're ready. There's no rush. Take your time."

[marzipan_dream]

Ciel broke the hug first and relaxed so Reeve could continue taking care of his burn.

"Thank you, Reeve. Is it okay if I ask you about this place? Can you give me any insight in how to make it through a few more days without running into trouble." It was gone again, the vulnerable child had switched off and returned to being the mature human mechanism collecting and processing data and acting based on that assessment. "Also, perhaps I could aid the cause in some way. I've done some investigation in my time and I'm almost unbeatable at puzzles and games."

He hesitated to add that he would likely go mad if he didn't have something to occupy his mind and time.

[felis_fidelus]

"Well, to begin...." The sudden switch was a bit startling; Reeve blinked, then shrugged it off, squeezing more ointment onto his fingers before applying it in a thick layer over the burn. "There are some doctors and assistants to avoid at all costs. Orochimaru is a... a pedophile. He enjoys breaking people... stay away from him if you possibly can."

His hands trembled a bit; he had to stop, staring down at his burnt and scarred arms and breathe to maintain control. "Paul is a doctor's assistant; he enjoys playing with fire. He's the one who gifted me with these lovely scars...." Reeve swallowed hard. "Also was the one kind enough to remind me of... everything I'd forgotten. Do not speak of your past to him. Ever."

After a moment he went back to doctoring Ciel's wound, eyes thoughtful. "We'll see. We're still feeling things out, but there could come a time where it's needed."

[marzipan_dream]

"I wish I could return this kindness, perhaps I will find a way."

Ciel stayed silent, sad to see the man in so much pain, but knowing anything he said or did would be awkward and ineffectual. What the man seemed to excel at and perhaps would make him feel better was a chance to feel he helped in some way. That Ciel could do.

"I really wanted to spend sometime with Momiji tonight can you help me find a way to his cell?"

[felis_fidelus]

Smiling lightly, Reeve began awkwardly winding bandages around Ciel's arm. "Don't worry about it. We're all in this together, after all. And my reticence was part of why you and Momiji were hurt in the first place. As long as you're feeling better, then that's good enough."

It took him a few minutes of fumbling, and having to raise his virtually crippled arm from the shoulder so he use both hands, but in the end there was a secure, clean bandage wrapped neatly over Ciel's arm. "That should give you some protection there... at least, make it to where it won't hurt too much if you bump into something. I'll leave the ointment and bandages here for you-- I don't need them anymore." He paused, sitting back. That would be easy enough to arrange; Momiji was rooming with Zack, and he'd meant to check in on him- or let Cait Sith check in on him- later on. "I think so. I know his roommate. Just shout at me over the intercoms when you're ready and I'll take you there."

Reeve gave the boy a bit of a smile. "... feeling any better now?"

[marzipan_dream]

Ciel couldn't really find a way to tell him how he'd single-handedly made him feel important and for a few precious moments safe. He shrugged back into his shirt deciding to wait to struggle with the dozens of small buttons. He gave Cait Sith a pat on the head and yawned.

"Much. I think it's going to be a terrible ordeal but I am comforted knowing there are people like you here. I hope we may become great friends. Now though, I am feeling the lack from the sleep I didn't get last night and I can't imagine I'll be without a roommate much longer. Would you stay for just a moment while I fall asleep then?" Ciel hoped if Reeve were to stay a few extra moments he might be able to pretend he had a guardian while he slept.

[felis_fidelus]

Cait, who'd remained silent through most of the conversation, simply patted the boy with one stubby paw. "Aye, laddie buck, no worries there! We'll take good care 'a y', we will."

How eerily similar this all was to just a few nights ago, when he'd asked Subaru to do the very same thing for him. There was something about human companionship that made the shadows a little less dark, a little easier to face. Reeve nodded, rising to his feet and sitting back on the rickety chair by the bed. "Go on and try to get some rest, Ciel," he said softly, reaching out and ruffling the boy's hair a bit. "I'll stay right here until you're asleep."

[marzipan_dream]

Happy to know Reeve would be watching over him, Ciel snuggled down under the blanket. He told himself he'd need to be sharp to survive here and not everyone was to be trusted. Still, he needed to rest and Reeve's quiet reassuring presence was enough to make him confident none of the bad things would bother him for a while.

"I hope something nice happens soon for you, if that is possible here." Ciel was drifting off as he spoke. "Please stay safe, Lord Reeve." He didn't realize how little he sounded, the moniker was a slip from when he was quite young, he called all the adults he liked Lord this and Lady that. He found sleep came easily and peacefully if only for a very brief time.

[felis_fidelus]

Sighing, Reeve picked up Cait from where he'd been left and watched Ciel drift off into a sound sleep. The sentiment was a kind one, if impractical. Nice things just didn't happen in St. Edelweiss, unless you were very fortunate. And staying safe... well, that wasn't possible here, but he could make an effort towards it, at least.

Once Ciel was fast asleep, Reeve stood and shifted the blankets up closer around him. "Rest well," he murmured. "Rest. It'll get better... I hope." Smiling slightly, sadly, he turned and slipped out of the room, closing the door silently behind him.

At least now, perhaps there could be peace... even if only for a moment.