The springtime of Lovers has come,
The springtime of Lovers has come,
that this dust bowl may become a garden;
the proclamation of heaven has come,
that the bird of the soul may rise in flight.
The sea becomes full of pearls,
the salt marsh becomes sweet as kauthar,
the stone becomes a ruby from the mine,
the body becomes wholly soul.
-Rumi
The weekend's over. All the dirty looks I get. All the hours of waiting around for dismissal. Now I'm just waiting for the quarter to kill me.
I was accepted into the Samoa Exploration Seminar today. The Vietnam/Thailand ExpoSem was full which was not a major disappointment. Vietnam can wait. Thailand isn't even on my radar. Semi-vacation on the horizon. I may be spending my birthday in Samoa which is enough birthday present to make up for the last three years, I hope. Nothing can really make up for the past week, two months, eight years besides a stiff drink and someone to talk to or talk me down from disappearing. There is nothing set in stone--which is beginning to wither away my patience. I waved good-bye to any motivation for a military promotion. I'm letting my graduation slip a little further away for Samoa. And my family is starting to disperse in more ways than one. My little brother and my father decided at the last minute Florida was the best choice for him and a great second chance as long as he doesn't squander it like he has so many times in the last three years.
My sister and I spoke of what my plans could be earlier and what I dreams I had woven for myself. They're the same dreams I've been playing with for years. Saying indefinitely usually means for an eternity for most of us. Saying indefinitely just means until it's okay to come back home. Or when I can breathe.
I doubt any of this will happen.