Hopeful
I'm a little worried about how my relationship with Natalie is going. If someone would have asked me about it yesterday I would've said everything was going great!
But if someone asked me right now I just wouldn't know how to respond.
The sad fact of my existence is that there is always something trying to keep my undivided attention. And the general rule is that what is immediately in front of me gets top priority.
So, if I'm at work, I'm really and truly focused on work. Sure my mind drifts to other things like my girlfriend and my biology homework but if I'm at work, then work gets all my attention, period.
Likewise, if Natalie and I are together then everyone and everything else gets the shit end of the stick because I want to be with my girl. Last night I cut out of an employee going away party just so I could see my girl and take her to dinner at Sushi boat. I even road the BART train with her almost halfway back to the East Bay.
And none of this seemed even the slightest bit outrageous to me. I was with my girl and wanted to be with my girl and time just didn't matter.
But today was different. As usual, I was stressed about work and after rushing out of the building to find something to eat it had slipped my mind to call Natalie and let her know how I was doing.
She didn't take this very well and now she's hardly talking to me.
To top things off I might not even get to see her for a couple days. Tomorrow is Easter Sunday and I'm sure to stop by my grandparent's house after work for Easter dinner.
Monday I have the day off but Natalie has work in the day and has class at night. Tuesday I also have the day off but Natalie has class in the day and I have class at night. If I'm lucky I'll get to see her for a few hours each of these days but it doesn't give us much time to talk about things.
I'm hoping we can see each other Wednesday since I was planning to bring her to dinner with my old friends from the disney store.
I love my Natalie. But she really needs to stop wasting so much energy on self-inflicted misery. It's not healthy. I understand that she needs attention. But she has to learn to share me with everything - people, situations, etc - that surround me on a daily basis. These can be angry customers, needy co-workers, old friends, and even my own flawed memory.
My brain is just like a computer. If there are too many programs running at once it's going to slow down and maybe even stop loading all together.
But despite these random little bumps in the relationship I still have very high hopes for the two of us. I'm not saying we don't have a lot to work on as a couple, but I do think there's a lot we can accomplish together.
Of course, time will ultimately determine the outcome but like I said, I'm still feeling optimistic.
But if someone asked me right now I just wouldn't know how to respond.
The sad fact of my existence is that there is always something trying to keep my undivided attention. And the general rule is that what is immediately in front of me gets top priority.
So, if I'm at work, I'm really and truly focused on work. Sure my mind drifts to other things like my girlfriend and my biology homework but if I'm at work, then work gets all my attention, period.
Likewise, if Natalie and I are together then everyone and everything else gets the shit end of the stick because I want to be with my girl. Last night I cut out of an employee going away party just so I could see my girl and take her to dinner at Sushi boat. I even road the BART train with her almost halfway back to the East Bay.
And none of this seemed even the slightest bit outrageous to me. I was with my girl and wanted to be with my girl and time just didn't matter.
But today was different. As usual, I was stressed about work and after rushing out of the building to find something to eat it had slipped my mind to call Natalie and let her know how I was doing.
She didn't take this very well and now she's hardly talking to me.
To top things off I might not even get to see her for a couple days. Tomorrow is Easter Sunday and I'm sure to stop by my grandparent's house after work for Easter dinner.
Monday I have the day off but Natalie has work in the day and has class at night. Tuesday I also have the day off but Natalie has class in the day and I have class at night. If I'm lucky I'll get to see her for a few hours each of these days but it doesn't give us much time to talk about things.
I'm hoping we can see each other Wednesday since I was planning to bring her to dinner with my old friends from the disney store.
I love my Natalie. But she really needs to stop wasting so much energy on self-inflicted misery. It's not healthy. I understand that she needs attention. But she has to learn to share me with everything - people, situations, etc - that surround me on a daily basis. These can be angry customers, needy co-workers, old friends, and even my own flawed memory.
My brain is just like a computer. If there are too many programs running at once it's going to slow down and maybe even stop loading all together.
But despite these random little bumps in the relationship I still have very high hopes for the two of us. I'm not saying we don't have a lot to work on as a couple, but I do think there's a lot we can accomplish together.
Of course, time will ultimately determine the outcome but like I said, I'm still feeling optimistic.