yeah... like old times
yesterday i slept over @ aly's... yeah.. let's re-cap.
in the morning.. before going to aly's.. i got an un-expected IM from someone i hadnt talked to in like 5 years. yeah it was from this guy i went out with a while back. i had actually stopped talking to him because he was shady to me after i broke up with him.. totally immature. he had been wanting to get back with me and i would just totally blow him off like u would not believe. he started telling me how sorry he was for everything he had done + said to me in the past and blah blah blah. so i told him it was cool + not to worry about it. i was wanting things to just end right there because hes not anyone i would talk to or anything anymore. yeah....too bad that kinda exploded in my face.. it turns out he likes me AGAIN. wtf? okkkkkkk son. he said we should hang out soon.. like.. now. cuz we're on spring break. and he kept asking me if he would have a chance with me again. okk.. lemme think.. NO. he has been so shitty to me in the past.. why would i wanna get with him again? and now i feel bad cuz i told him i would hang out with him but i dont wanna go cuz i know he'll try something.. if u know what i mean. i totally dont know what to do. i talked to caleb about this and he told me that i should let him down gently. too bad i dont like hurting people. errrrrr.
so aly called me and we decided i would sleep over @ her dad's.. she came and got me at about 9 pm. we watched a lil degrassi + talked about just everything. at about 11 @ night we got online + talked to caleb. i stayed up talking to him for the longest... and aly decided she was gunna go to sleep cuz it was like 1:30 in the morning.. she told me i could stay on to talk to caleb. well somehow we got into this deep conversation about just everything and how we always argue. i told him everything i was thinking and just let it out...i mean everything. i told him how everytime we argue it reminds me of the whole tarek situation.. i told him how i always feel like shit after arguing with him and how sometimes i feel like he dosnt even care anymore. seriously.. sometimes he acts like he wouldnt care if i stopped talking to him all together. i told him that i know that if he stopped talking to me that i would care.. even if he wouldnt care at all. he told me he would care if i stopped talking to him and that he would hate it. i told him i would never ever do that to him.. and he said he wouldnt either. he started telling me how much he loves me and cares about me. i told him that i thought i didnt matter to him anymore because of how he acts sometimes.. he told me that sometimes he gets frustrated and things come out the wrong way. he told me that he would never ever leave me and he kept telling me how much he cares and just everything.. it was the best feeling in the world.. telling him how i felt and him telling me how he felt in return. i told him how i feel so close to him now because i feel like i can talk to him about anything and everything. we're best friends.. we should be able to talk about stuff... and we.. its just sometimes its a little hard for me. i find it really hard to express myself because im scared of what he might think or say. caleb had always been trying to get me to talk to him about how i feel about things for the longest time because he knows its hard for me.. and finally i did it. and i feel a lot better knowing that he knows how i feel about everything and in return ive gained a greater respect from him. i feel so close to him now.. more than i ever have in my life. and that is the greatest feeling in the world. its.. PRICELESS.
in the morning.. before going to aly's.. i got an un-expected IM from someone i hadnt talked to in like 5 years. yeah it was from this guy i went out with a while back. i had actually stopped talking to him because he was shady to me after i broke up with him.. totally immature. he had been wanting to get back with me and i would just totally blow him off like u would not believe. he started telling me how sorry he was for everything he had done + said to me in the past and blah blah blah. so i told him it was cool + not to worry about it. i was wanting things to just end right there because hes not anyone i would talk to or anything anymore. yeah....too bad that kinda exploded in my face.. it turns out he likes me AGAIN. wtf? okkkkkkk son. he said we should hang out soon.. like.. now. cuz we're on spring break. and he kept asking me if he would have a chance with me again. okk.. lemme think.. NO. he has been so shitty to me in the past.. why would i wanna get with him again? and now i feel bad cuz i told him i would hang out with him but i dont wanna go cuz i know he'll try something.. if u know what i mean. i totally dont know what to do. i talked to caleb about this and he told me that i should let him down gently. too bad i dont like hurting people. errrrrr.
so aly called me and we decided i would sleep over @ her dad's.. she came and got me at about 9 pm. we watched a lil degrassi + talked about just everything. at about 11 @ night we got online + talked to caleb. i stayed up talking to him for the longest... and aly decided she was gunna go to sleep cuz it was like 1:30 in the morning.. she told me i could stay on to talk to caleb. well somehow we got into this deep conversation about just everything and how we always argue. i told him everything i was thinking and just let it out...i mean everything. i told him how everytime we argue it reminds me of the whole tarek situation.. i told him how i always feel like shit after arguing with him and how sometimes i feel like he dosnt even care anymore. seriously.. sometimes he acts like he wouldnt care if i stopped talking to him all together. i told him that i know that if he stopped talking to me that i would care.. even if he wouldnt care at all. he told me he would care if i stopped talking to him and that he would hate it. i told him i would never ever do that to him.. and he said he wouldnt either. he started telling me how much he loves me and cares about me. i told him that i thought i didnt matter to him anymore because of how he acts sometimes.. he told me that sometimes he gets frustrated and things come out the wrong way. he told me that he would never ever leave me and he kept telling me how much he cares and just everything.. it was the best feeling in the world.. telling him how i felt and him telling me how he felt in return. i told him how i feel so close to him now because i feel like i can talk to him about anything and everything. we're best friends.. we should be able to talk about stuff... and we.. its just sometimes its a little hard for me. i find it really hard to express myself because im scared of what he might think or say. caleb had always been trying to get me to talk to him about how i feel about things for the longest time because he knows its hard for me.. and finally i did it. and i feel a lot better knowing that he knows how i feel about everything and in return ive gained a greater respect from him. i feel so close to him now.. more than i ever have in my life. and that is the greatest feeling in the world. its.. PRICELESS.