More Proof That Girls Are Evil
(For original proof, see previous entry.)
As I sit here tonight, pondering some sort of clever and witty idea to post, I realized that I hadn't quite described my day. It was good. Now that we've established that, I have a little rant for my LiveJournal which isn't much of a surprise. And even less of a surprise, this rant is going to be about a girl. Now, I understand that a girlfriend is not the line piece in Tetris that clears everything out for you (And I know that you get that metaphor because ya'll are goddamn nerds just like me.) but with this girl I am attracted to, I feel we have a great time together and I would like a relationship with her. I just recently starting chillin with her and having fun, and at first it was a friendship and nothing more. We had fun, that was it. We flirted a lot when we hung out, but as far as I was concerned, it was pretty innocent. Now though, I'm sorta starting to like her and I'm pretty sure she doesn't feel the same attraction, though there are rumors. I don't like getting my hopes up or counting my chickens before they hatch so I'm assuming all rumors are wrong. I dunno, that's my rant. I like a girl and I just can't tell if she feels the same way. Sometimes it seems like she does, other times it seems like she's not interested in the slightest. Some of you already know who I'm speaking of though. Note the Line Piece falling down to save the day and wipe the slate clean. Just a visualization for some of the retarded kids who don't understand an old-school game like Tetris.
Anyways, onto girls being evil, here's a little play (if you will) revealing how evil girls are.
The scene opens on a beautiful little hut in a beautiful garden somewhere long ago.
::Man walks in::
Adam: Hey baby, wow, you should have scene the garden today really green and just kinda cool. I went frolicking and had a chat with the Jehova, that crazy old man out on the hill, the one that comes out of the clouds now and then.
::Woman smiles and sets a fresh pie on the table.::
::Man leans forward smelling the pie as she cuts him a piece.::
Adam: Thanks baby!
::Man takes bite, woman sits opposite man and begins eating.::
::Man glances intently at his wife::
Adam: Hey ya know, I never noticed this before but you have some nice-HEY! Why am I naked!?
::BOOOM! Roof lifts off house as God leans in to look angrily at the couple.::
::Man looks about frantically finally settling his eyes on his wife in a murderous glare::
Adam: Pie!? You sneaky...
::Facing God adam speaks::
Adam: J-man! hey, umm Hi! I bet you’re wondering why I'm naked! WAIT! Let me explain! Ya see... THAT BITCH SET ME UP! Look man I was just tryin' to be a good Husband and she made a pie, and.. I mean hell I got rid of the dog so my creepy wife could have a pet snake and I should have known then those creepy Exotic pet chicks the-"
God: Eve you Evil bitch I told you the snake had to go! It's been eatin' my birds!
Eve: But the snake is wise and he's shown me-"
God: SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH! This ain't the new millenium and shit, "I" run this bitch and in MY book women speak when I tell them them to! Did you Bake the pie? Did you have Adam buy the snake? Here I'll answer for you.
God: (In Mock woman Voice) Yes mighty Lord, who's about to fuck my shit up, I did.
::God looks at Eve:: First off I'm gonna rip the legs off your fuckin' iguana, and toss his ass out. Crawl on your belly you bird eatin' mother fucker!
God:(To eve) And you, you evil golden apple pie making bitch, gets to steppin!!
::Eve turns to walk away::
God:: Oh wait! before ya go, here's a present for ya! and Ya get a new one for a week, once a month for the rest of your miserable existance! Eat my apple. Ya ever tried to grow an APPLE TREE IN AFRICA!!!!????
::Eve walks out bleeding after the snake. Adam laughs in his vengeance and clasps God on the shoulder::
Adam: well I guess we solved that problem didn't we, so what do ya say I cough up another rib and you whip me up my third wife eh? Hell! Without the other rib and with all this new knowledge I wouldn't need a wife! HA HA HA!
::God looks at Adam angrily.::
God: Get out.
Adam: What!? Wait man! You know everything! You have to know that I didn't know, that she knew that we'd know we were really naked, and HEY! How come you were watchin' us run around naked without tellin' us you dirty old-"
God: OUT!
Adam: Why man, I thought we were close? She tricked me!
God: You dumb mother fucker, how long you lived in this garden?
Adam: Oh, several years, after that time Lilith burned down the hut. I can't believe that bitch got half of everything!
God: And in that time you've lived here you've been garden keeper right?
Adam: Yea of course I know everything there is to know about every plant in the place.
God: Really?
Adam: Yup.
God: Then... HOW MANY APPLE TREES YOU SEEN IN THIS GARDEN YOU DUMB MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!
Adam:: Just let me pack a few things.
As I sit here tonight, pondering some sort of clever and witty idea to post, I realized that I hadn't quite described my day. It was good. Now that we've established that, I have a little rant for my LiveJournal which isn't much of a surprise. And even less of a surprise, this rant is going to be about a girl. Now, I understand that a girlfriend is not the line piece in Tetris that clears everything out for you (And I know that you get that metaphor because ya'll are goddamn nerds just like me.) but with this girl I am attracted to, I feel we have a great time together and I would like a relationship with her. I just recently starting chillin with her and having fun, and at first it was a friendship and nothing more. We had fun, that was it. We flirted a lot when we hung out, but as far as I was concerned, it was pretty innocent. Now though, I'm sorta starting to like her and I'm pretty sure she doesn't feel the same attraction, though there are rumors. I don't like getting my hopes up or counting my chickens before they hatch so I'm assuming all rumors are wrong. I dunno, that's my rant. I like a girl and I just can't tell if she feels the same way. Sometimes it seems like she does, other times it seems like she's not interested in the slightest. Some of you already know who I'm speaking of though. Note the Line Piece falling down to save the day and wipe the slate clean. Just a visualization for some of the retarded kids who don't understand an old-school game like Tetris.
Anyways, onto girls being evil, here's a little play (if you will) revealing how evil girls are.
The scene opens on a beautiful little hut in a beautiful garden somewhere long ago.
::Man walks in::
Adam: Hey baby, wow, you should have scene the garden today really green and just kinda cool. I went frolicking and had a chat with the Jehova, that crazy old man out on the hill, the one that comes out of the clouds now and then.
::Woman smiles and sets a fresh pie on the table.::
::Man leans forward smelling the pie as she cuts him a piece.::
Adam: Thanks baby!
::Man takes bite, woman sits opposite man and begins eating.::
::Man glances intently at his wife::
Adam: Hey ya know, I never noticed this before but you have some nice-HEY! Why am I naked!?
::BOOOM! Roof lifts off house as God leans in to look angrily at the couple.::
::Man looks about frantically finally settling his eyes on his wife in a murderous glare::
Adam: Pie!? You sneaky...
::Facing God adam speaks::
Adam: J-man! hey, umm Hi! I bet you’re wondering why I'm naked! WAIT! Let me explain! Ya see... THAT BITCH SET ME UP! Look man I was just tryin' to be a good Husband and she made a pie, and.. I mean hell I got rid of the dog so my creepy wife could have a pet snake and I should have known then those creepy Exotic pet chicks the-"
God: Eve you Evil bitch I told you the snake had to go! It's been eatin' my birds!
Eve: But the snake is wise and he's shown me-"
God: SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH! This ain't the new millenium and shit, "I" run this bitch and in MY book women speak when I tell them them to! Did you Bake the pie? Did you have Adam buy the snake? Here I'll answer for you.
God: (In Mock woman Voice) Yes mighty Lord, who's about to fuck my shit up, I did.
::God looks at Eve:: First off I'm gonna rip the legs off your fuckin' iguana, and toss his ass out. Crawl on your belly you bird eatin' mother fucker!
God:(To eve) And you, you evil golden apple pie making bitch, gets to steppin!!
::Eve turns to walk away::
God:: Oh wait! before ya go, here's a present for ya! and Ya get a new one for a week, once a month for the rest of your miserable existance! Eat my apple. Ya ever tried to grow an APPLE TREE IN AFRICA!!!!????
::Eve walks out bleeding after the snake. Adam laughs in his vengeance and clasps God on the shoulder::
Adam: well I guess we solved that problem didn't we, so what do ya say I cough up another rib and you whip me up my third wife eh? Hell! Without the other rib and with all this new knowledge I wouldn't need a wife! HA HA HA!
::God looks at Adam angrily.::
God: Get out.
Adam: What!? Wait man! You know everything! You have to know that I didn't know, that she knew that we'd know we were really naked, and HEY! How come you were watchin' us run around naked without tellin' us you dirty old-"
God: OUT!
Adam: Why man, I thought we were close? She tricked me!
God: You dumb mother fucker, how long you lived in this garden?
Adam: Oh, several years, after that time Lilith burned down the hut. I can't believe that bitch got half of everything!
God: And in that time you've lived here you've been garden keeper right?
Adam: Yea of course I know everything there is to know about every plant in the place.
God: Really?
Adam: Yup.
God: Then... HOW MANY APPLE TREES YOU SEEN IN THIS GARDEN YOU DUMB MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!
Adam:: Just let me pack a few things.