011. Makes Me Wonder [private entry]
There are just so many questions now. I have to admit that I find them all rather intimidating. I promised myself I wouldn't end up like him. That he couldn't influence me like that. And even though I hate him so much for hurting me the way he did, I still love the bastard. I always will. He taught me everything I know about this business and about how to use people against themselves. He made me what I am today and I want to hate him forever for that. But, if I had never taken the route I did...
I'd have never met the kid. And that's what really makes me wonder.
Things are getting closer. On both sides of the scale. Soon, the second part will be able to take place and we'll be that much closer to having what I want. And on the other side, that much closer to what he wants. Bless him and every cell in his body. What he needs, too. Though, not to make myself sound like more of an ego-maniac. :P
I feel like a complete fuckwit for having to derail the conversation whenever the occupation comes up. I hate lying to him. I can't stand that I'm being dishonest with someone I want to be so close to. Just a little more time, though. And then we'll see which is stronger; truth or love.
I'd have never met the kid. And that's what really makes me wonder.
Things are getting closer. On both sides of the scale. Soon, the second part will be able to take place and we'll be that much closer to having what I want. And on the other side, that much closer to what he wants. Bless him and every cell in his body. What he needs, too. Though, not to make myself sound like more of an ego-maniac. :P
I feel like a complete fuckwit for having to derail the conversation whenever the occupation comes up. I hate lying to him. I can't stand that I'm being dishonest with someone I want to be so close to. Just a little more time, though. And then we'll see which is stronger; truth or love.