greatest hits collection
luke: i'm such a catch. some day, someone will realize this and close the deal.
luke: some people can jump high or pick up an instrument quickly... i hate without boundary
luke: so disgusted by people. i need to either become a murderer or a millionare and thus solve the problem or get away from it
lexi: i want to invite some hottie in the library to the party tonight... how do i ask her age tactfully?
luke: WILL ANYONE GO TO JAIL WHEN YOU GET YOUR ASS FUCKED TONIGHT?
luke: WHEN YOU"RE THE MAIN STAR OF A TEN MAN GANG BANG
luke: OHHHH NOSSSS HE"S A POT SMOKER!!! I THINK I"M LIVING IN THE FIFTIES HOLY SHIT CALL MCCARTHY HE MIGHT BE A COMMIE
luke: SOCIAL RETARDISM + UNREAL DEMANDS = LONELY LIFE SLEEPING WITH A BULLET UNDER YOUR PILLOW
luke: well, that makes me feel better then. realistic, aware, bitter. i should put that in a personals ad
luke: i wonder if there's any woman i've jerked it to in the past six months that wouldn't be horrified to know it.
luke: not too much. just woke up
lexi: tsk tsk
luke: I HAVE A VERY ACTIVE NIGHT LIFE EXCUSE ME
luke: I"M SORRY I LIKE TO GO OUT TO THE CLUBS AND BARS AND FEEL THE PULSE OF SOCIETY
luke: i hope you write me when i'm in prison
luke: i'd painfully record and detail all of it
luke: and write a book entitled WOMEN PUT ON TRIAL, VERDICT: DEATH
luke: fuck, i just dropped ice cream down my pants
luke: that's what i get for leaving the zipper unzipped after masturbating
luke: oh shit, i just did it again
luke: i'm zipping up ASAP
lexi: THATS LIFE
lexi: HORRIBLE
lexi: in a word
luke: that's odd
luke: you and life are described with the same word<
luke: IF YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT HER YOU"D BE WILLING TO SACRIFICE YOUR FRIENDSHIP TO RUIN HER MARRIAGE
lexi: so whats on your AGENDA TODAY
luke: gonna play me some video games, watch me 40 year old virgin and think of ray, listen to some shield episode commentaries, masturbate about 15 times, wallow in my filth and to top it all off, probably order some chinese. FULL PLATE TODAY, HOW ABOUT YOU?
lexi: oh man i thought you didnt eat take out anymore?
luke: ARE YOU EVEN MY FRIEND OR AN ACTOR?!?!
lexi: i WISH i was getting paid to put up with your BS
luke: OMG
luke: OMG
luke: LOOK WHO"S TALKING TOO WITH JOHN TRAVOLTA AND BRUCE WILLIS
luke: i wish i knew the exact moment when it became PERFECTLY OKAY to tell me all your DISGUSTING DETAILS, because i'd like to go back to that moment and SHOOT IT DEAD
luke: you are fucking horrible.
luke: that's why i like you
luke: some people can jump high or pick up an instrument quickly... i hate without boundary
luke: so disgusted by people. i need to either become a murderer or a millionare and thus solve the problem or get away from it
lexi: i want to invite some hottie in the library to the party tonight... how do i ask her age tactfully?
luke: WILL ANYONE GO TO JAIL WHEN YOU GET YOUR ASS FUCKED TONIGHT?
luke: WHEN YOU"RE THE MAIN STAR OF A TEN MAN GANG BANG
luke: OHHHH NOSSSS HE"S A POT SMOKER!!! I THINK I"M LIVING IN THE FIFTIES HOLY SHIT CALL MCCARTHY HE MIGHT BE A COMMIE
luke: SOCIAL RETARDISM + UNREAL DEMANDS = LONELY LIFE SLEEPING WITH A BULLET UNDER YOUR PILLOW
luke: well, that makes me feel better then. realistic, aware, bitter. i should put that in a personals ad
luke: i wonder if there's any woman i've jerked it to in the past six months that wouldn't be horrified to know it.
luke: not too much. just woke up
lexi: tsk tsk
luke: I HAVE A VERY ACTIVE NIGHT LIFE EXCUSE ME
luke: I"M SORRY I LIKE TO GO OUT TO THE CLUBS AND BARS AND FEEL THE PULSE OF SOCIETY
luke: i hope you write me when i'm in prison
luke: i'd painfully record and detail all of it
luke: and write a book entitled WOMEN PUT ON TRIAL, VERDICT: DEATH
luke: fuck, i just dropped ice cream down my pants
luke: that's what i get for leaving the zipper unzipped after masturbating
luke: oh shit, i just did it again
luke: i'm zipping up ASAP
lexi: THATS LIFE
lexi: HORRIBLE
lexi: in a word
luke: that's odd
luke: you and life are described with the same word<
luke: IF YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT HER YOU"D BE WILLING TO SACRIFICE YOUR FRIENDSHIP TO RUIN HER MARRIAGE
lexi: so whats on your AGENDA TODAY
luke: gonna play me some video games, watch me 40 year old virgin and think of ray, listen to some shield episode commentaries, masturbate about 15 times, wallow in my filth and to top it all off, probably order some chinese. FULL PLATE TODAY, HOW ABOUT YOU?
lexi: oh man i thought you didnt eat take out anymore?
luke: ARE YOU EVEN MY FRIEND OR AN ACTOR?!?!
lexi: i WISH i was getting paid to put up with your BS
luke: OMG
luke: OMG
luke: LOOK WHO"S TALKING TOO WITH JOHN TRAVOLTA AND BRUCE WILLIS
luke: i wish i knew the exact moment when it became PERFECTLY OKAY to tell me all your DISGUSTING DETAILS, because i'd like to go back to that moment and SHOOT IT DEAD
luke: you are fucking horrible.
luke: that's why i like you