the largest roundabout is in your mind
fuck all the runaround. im over everybody being so mysterious about how they feel and so vague about what and who they are talking about. if you have something to say come out and fucking say it. it's not only good for yourself but for the other party as well. i mean why do we have to hide from our feelings what sense does that make. and why does it always seem that it's only one person's fault for not trying because obviously it's not, for if the other person tried then i am pretty sure things would be different. but this is me in my third party veiw.
i realized last night after my lost efforts to hang with mary and a horrible meeting at the hotdog joint that i fucked up horribly and i will never be able to mend the wound. my only fixing is by small and futile attempts to enjoy life i mean it works for a while but it always starts bleeding again. i called her up to have a bad run in on the phone with her. sorta left me sad and crying. which is weird i dont cry that much. then went to work with murph, just a meeting. after work last night me and murph went to brewster's no luck there. so we went to wal mart. where i stole a candy bar and we ate it in the store then went around fucking with shit and fucking with people. we decided to get in full costume garment and walk around scaring people and buying stuff. much fun. on the way out a lady came up to me and asked me what i did with my candy bar. i told her i put it up and then went on to tell her about my day and there costume selection. a little weird and scary so we went out to my car and started to leave but then a cop car started following me out of wal mart and about 2 minutes after leaving the cop pulled me over. for a headlamp being out. i wasn't really upset i was sort of releived but afterwards i was pissed. went home to watch the day after tomorrow. fell asleep.
i realized last night after my lost efforts to hang with mary and a horrible meeting at the hotdog joint that i fucked up horribly and i will never be able to mend the wound. my only fixing is by small and futile attempts to enjoy life i mean it works for a while but it always starts bleeding again. i called her up to have a bad run in on the phone with her. sorta left me sad and crying. which is weird i dont cry that much. then went to work with murph, just a meeting. after work last night me and murph went to brewster's no luck there. so we went to wal mart. where i stole a candy bar and we ate it in the store then went around fucking with shit and fucking with people. we decided to get in full costume garment and walk around scaring people and buying stuff. much fun. on the way out a lady came up to me and asked me what i did with my candy bar. i told her i put it up and then went on to tell her about my day and there costume selection. a little weird and scary so we went out to my car and started to leave but then a cop car started following me out of wal mart and about 2 minutes after leaving the cop pulled me over. for a headlamp being out. i wasn't really upset i was sort of releived but afterwards i was pissed. went home to watch the day after tomorrow. fell asleep.