(no subject)

[steadysearching]

it comes in waves

at times I want nothing but to be as far from you as possible.
but it is those times that illogically draw me to you
makes me want you so that I can think of nothing else

and you think Im just a stupid girl
a horny girl for that

and maybe the latter is true but it is only because of you.

and you have no idea.
you make me want to be bad. so many things that have happened with you and me, between the sheets if you will, have never been allowed with me before.
and I want to push it
see how far I can go and still feel ok.

blah blah blah never mind.

if you saw this you would just shake your head as always and give me that disapproving look.
make me ashamed of how much i want you
it's fucked up
so I'll keep it to myself as always until one day maybe you will be ready to handle what I really feel inside.