(no subject)
Fucking men
I cant stand them and their egotistical mentality...
So I go to hang out with domingo adn everything is good...
from the moment I walk in the door he hugs me and says there's no drama here no khalif, nothing but good things....
so great..
we start drinking and hanging out, talking about his vacation that he just got back from and we start watching a movie..
everything is fine...
then he lets his hand slip a little too close to my boob, and i call him out...
he says what?!?! their fun! and there's no khalif anymore!
at this point I get up and walk outside to the porch...
he takes a moment and follows me and proceeds to spill his guts...
I love domingo I really do, and it's not like anything he says comes as any surprise to me, it's just it's out there now and how are we supposed to be "just friends" and not have any awkwardness??
And I'm angry because what happened to the "no drama" greeting I got when I walked in the door?
and no matter what and i really really hate to make this analogy all I can think of is Jacob.
last time when things went wrong with Khalif and I went to my good friend for help, he raped me, in many ways.
and now I am here with domingo telling me these things that he knows I dont really want to hear, and I feel stuck in a similar fashion to the night with Jacob.
I mean I am really not angry with domingo, just annoyed.
he said how he never wanted to or tried to sabatoge me and khalif which is true. and he said if being with khalif was what I wanted he never wanted to get in the way. Which he never did. And that he wanted me to be happy and if khalif made me happy that made him happy. Really all it was was an apology for not realizing what he had in the beginning, and for fucking it up. He told me I was gorgeous and that he knew I was something so special, and maybe adam or khalif couldnt see that but he did, and he was sorry he didnt grab onto it from the get go. I dont know
I just dont understand men. Just because Khalif doesnt want me it does not mean that I want anyone else. I love Khalif. I love him so much I cant think right now.
and I dont understand how he could just throw me away like some trash. Like it's not fun anymore, so instead of try to work it out I'm just gonna dip and not say a word to you....
I think I could go years and have all sorts of men thrown at me and not even give them a second glance. I want khalif.
tonight already three solid attempts and all it did was make me sick to my stomach.... make me more desperate to talk to khalif.
how could he treat me like this?
he said he loved me...he says he LOVES me and yet could just wash his hands so easily...
I would do anything for him.
love is so dangerous for me I need to never do it again, it will be a miracle if I survive this.
I cant stand them and their egotistical mentality...
So I go to hang out with domingo adn everything is good...
from the moment I walk in the door he hugs me and says there's no drama here no khalif, nothing but good things....
so great..
we start drinking and hanging out, talking about his vacation that he just got back from and we start watching a movie..
everything is fine...
then he lets his hand slip a little too close to my boob, and i call him out...
he says what?!?! their fun! and there's no khalif anymore!
at this point I get up and walk outside to the porch...
he takes a moment and follows me and proceeds to spill his guts...
I love domingo I really do, and it's not like anything he says comes as any surprise to me, it's just it's out there now and how are we supposed to be "just friends" and not have any awkwardness??
And I'm angry because what happened to the "no drama" greeting I got when I walked in the door?
and no matter what and i really really hate to make this analogy all I can think of is Jacob.
last time when things went wrong with Khalif and I went to my good friend for help, he raped me, in many ways.
and now I am here with domingo telling me these things that he knows I dont really want to hear, and I feel stuck in a similar fashion to the night with Jacob.
I mean I am really not angry with domingo, just annoyed.
he said how he never wanted to or tried to sabatoge me and khalif which is true. and he said if being with khalif was what I wanted he never wanted to get in the way. Which he never did. And that he wanted me to be happy and if khalif made me happy that made him happy. Really all it was was an apology for not realizing what he had in the beginning, and for fucking it up. He told me I was gorgeous and that he knew I was something so special, and maybe adam or khalif couldnt see that but he did, and he was sorry he didnt grab onto it from the get go. I dont know
I just dont understand men. Just because Khalif doesnt want me it does not mean that I want anyone else. I love Khalif. I love him so much I cant think right now.
and I dont understand how he could just throw me away like some trash. Like it's not fun anymore, so instead of try to work it out I'm just gonna dip and not say a word to you....
I think I could go years and have all sorts of men thrown at me and not even give them a second glance. I want khalif.
tonight already three solid attempts and all it did was make me sick to my stomach.... make me more desperate to talk to khalif.
how could he treat me like this?
he said he loved me...he says he LOVES me and yet could just wash his hands so easily...
I would do anything for him.
love is so dangerous for me I need to never do it again, it will be a miracle if I survive this.