wasted
I've been wasted for the last four days. super.
and I dont always mean wasted as in fucked up, just wasted. Although right now I'm extremely fucked up. super.
haven't been able to eat since tuesday. so at least that's good for the wasteline.
Denise said I'm not an alcoholic yet cz it hasn't even been a week that's passed, and when it is at that point she'll find a new excuse for me. super. she's the best.
and the other night I got fucked up enough when I was working that I came home and actually could sleep, and he starts texting me at 6 in the fucking morning. super.
and leaving lame ass comments on my lj. super.
my problem is mainly that my heart and my head always have this short circuit. My head knows there is nooo way in hell he will ever love me the way I need him to love me, but my heart keeps on hoping. My head told me to walk away so many times, but my heart said believe in him, maybe he's just been mistreated in the past. My head says fuck him, he doesn't care, but my fucking heart still wont let go. Now I've got too much pride to ever go back, but now I'm stuck in this limbo. I love a man I cant trust. I love a man I cant leave. I love a man I cant keep. I love a man I cant have. I love a man I cant love.
I need to short circuit my heart and jump start my brain. fuck.
and I dont always mean wasted as in fucked up, just wasted. Although right now I'm extremely fucked up. super.
haven't been able to eat since tuesday. so at least that's good for the wasteline.
Denise said I'm not an alcoholic yet cz it hasn't even been a week that's passed, and when it is at that point she'll find a new excuse for me. super. she's the best.
and the other night I got fucked up enough when I was working that I came home and actually could sleep, and he starts texting me at 6 in the fucking morning. super.
and leaving lame ass comments on my lj. super.
my problem is mainly that my heart and my head always have this short circuit. My head knows there is nooo way in hell he will ever love me the way I need him to love me, but my heart keeps on hoping. My head told me to walk away so many times, but my heart said believe in him, maybe he's just been mistreated in the past. My head says fuck him, he doesn't care, but my fucking heart still wont let go. Now I've got too much pride to ever go back, but now I'm stuck in this limbo. I love a man I cant trust. I love a man I cant leave. I love a man I cant keep. I love a man I cant have. I love a man I cant love.
I need to short circuit my heart and jump start my brain. fuck.