(no subject)

[staywhatyouare]

Click to view

It's so strange to have a song that not too long ago would crush you whenever you heard it. You would repeat it over and over again and agonize over the memory of a relationship that never went the way you wanted it to. I have a million of those songs that I would torture myself with and play repeatedly again and again at deafening levels whenever I found out another lie, or hurt myself by continuing to see/talk to that person after all the dishonesty, drama and unnecessary hurt. I literally obsessed over the fact that what was said to me was not what others knew to be true and I couldn't stand looking like I was the only one persisting.

And then, as trite as it may be, seemingly out of nowhere i met someone.
Shortly after that I was told that he has met someone as well.
The imminent tinge of jealousy is quickly subsided by a long awaited moment of understanding. An ending to the various questions and replays of scenarios and stories that never quite added up. A great sense of relief comes when I realize that no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to determine with absolute certainty what was genuine and what was rehearsed. And it doesn't matter.

I am happy.

And then I listen to this song. Smiling to the words that once invoked pain.
Yet,the arrangement hasn't changed. There are No extra instruments or additional effects. The lyrics are exactly the same as they were before.It's almost as if I am hearing it all for the very first time. Experiencing the music with brand new ears.... and 4 minutes and 16 seconds has never sounded better. Louder than ever, I hear it crystal clear.

Your ex - lover is dead

God, that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said, "Yes, I think we've met before"
In that instant it started to pour

Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of that time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name

This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
You tried to reach deep but you never got in
And now you're outside me, you see all the beauty
Repent all your sin

Nothing but time and a face that you'll lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news
From the house down the road from real love

Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back

There's one thing I have to say so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save