(no subject)
Sometimes, okay, most of the time, I hate winters.
Something happens to me in winter, an unrest, doubt, insanity, I dunno.
No matter what I do, I find myself sitting or laying there getting teary-eyed, out of no where.
Or so unbelievably overwhelmed that I don't know what to do with myself.
Last winter, I doubted who I was and my life so much that I made one of the stupidest mistakes of my life, how do you stop yourself from doing it again?
I won't do anything like that again, per say, but I feel this itch. This "why-am-I-living-like-this", "why-am-I-so-unsatisfied-with-everything"-- feeling.
I'm sure we all feel it. I'm positive I'm not the only one who breaks down every once in awhile...I just, don't understand it.
Why did a spontaneous, crazy, imaginative person like me choose to go to college?
Why did I pick a career where it's basically repetitive everyday?
Is this really going to make me happy?
All of these questions keep building and building and building.
Updates
1. Finally working out. Out of the ten pounds I gained over the holidays, I've lost over half of it. Now I get to start chipping off everything else. Still, I feel proud of myself that I managed to stay the same weight I was in high school. I've never been "skinny", but I haven't gained.
2. Back with my little hellion first graders and they are the loves of my life. A girl whom I was struggling with about cheating is leaving me for Alaska. I've gained the cutest little girl with Downs for half the day and she keeps me on my toes. Although I'm terrified to student teach, I'm so lucky to be in the classroom that I am. My master teaching is amazing, the school is perfect, and I have the support of a great evaluator and faculty.
3. I am madly in love. Sometimes, I get so overwhelmed with the feeling I cling on and never want to let go. With all the doubt and insecurity in my life, I am so blessed to have a rock next to me that always turns my worst days into my best.
Good things
+ cold days = 2-3 showers a day
+ Gossip Girl ( a good friend of mine got me hooked)
+ coffee & cocoa allll the time
+ besides coffee, all I've been drinking is water and lemonade (booyah!)
+ beanies
+ flannel shirts
+ bananas
Something happens to me in winter, an unrest, doubt, insanity, I dunno.
No matter what I do, I find myself sitting or laying there getting teary-eyed, out of no where.
Or so unbelievably overwhelmed that I don't know what to do with myself.
Last winter, I doubted who I was and my life so much that I made one of the stupidest mistakes of my life, how do you stop yourself from doing it again?
I won't do anything like that again, per say, but I feel this itch. This "why-am-I-living-like-this", "why-am-I-so-unsatisfied-with-everything"-- feeling.
I'm sure we all feel it. I'm positive I'm not the only one who breaks down every once in awhile...I just, don't understand it.
Why did a spontaneous, crazy, imaginative person like me choose to go to college?
Why did I pick a career where it's basically repetitive everyday?
Is this really going to make me happy?
All of these questions keep building and building and building.
Updates
1. Finally working out. Out of the ten pounds I gained over the holidays, I've lost over half of it. Now I get to start chipping off everything else. Still, I feel proud of myself that I managed to stay the same weight I was in high school. I've never been "skinny", but I haven't gained.
2. Back with my little hellion first graders and they are the loves of my life. A girl whom I was struggling with about cheating is leaving me for Alaska. I've gained the cutest little girl with Downs for half the day and she keeps me on my toes. Although I'm terrified to student teach, I'm so lucky to be in the classroom that I am. My master teaching is amazing, the school is perfect, and I have the support of a great evaluator and faculty.
3. I am madly in love. Sometimes, I get so overwhelmed with the feeling I cling on and never want to let go. With all the doubt and insecurity in my life, I am so blessed to have a rock next to me that always turns my worst days into my best.
Good things
+ cold days = 2-3 showers a day
+ Gossip Girl ( a good friend of mine got me hooked)
+ coffee & cocoa allll the time
+ besides coffee, all I've been drinking is water and lemonade (booyah!)
+ beanies
+ flannel shirts
+ bananas