CR Chart
Equius' Canon Relationships
Tavros Nitram ==> toreuhhhdork
Equius made him a new pair of legs upon arriving in Vatheon, and has overall been unusually... nice isn't exactly the word, but less asshole-ish than normal would be a good description. It's significant that Equius has either touched or been touched by Tavros three times and not complained about it at all, nor has he called him a mudblood. They aren't friends, not by a long shot, but they do seem to be capable of working together towards a common goal, although it's very clear that Equius is in charge and "the boss" during these encounters.
Sollux Captor ==> 3dvii2iion
Ever since arriving in Vatheon, Equius has been going out of his way to torment and troll Sollux. It originally started because he was still butthurt about Aradiabot saying goodbye to Sollux and not him, but has since grown into something more. The only time they managed to get along was when they were planning a mean trick on Eridan, and even then Equius quickly resorted to insults and intimidation. There is definitely some ashen potential there.
Karkat Vantas ==> bethehugejerk
Sometimes, when two trolls hate each other very, very much, their hatred grows into something known as a kismesitude. This is a very special hatred that they don't feel for anyone else, a very STRONG, pure hatred.
Karkat and Equius got off on the wrong foot almost immediately, complete with insults and arguing, and it has only gone downhill from there. At first Equius just grabbed every opportunity he could to troll Karkat and give him a hard time, but then he made a very STRONG black advance towards him; after some skittering around and a few more arguments, they cemented their hateful bond during the most one-sided fistfight ever during the RPG curse week. Now they're kismesises, and both seem to be hating every minute of it.
Nepeta Leijon ==> thatsjustpawful
Total moirails. They haven't been hanging out much in Vatheon, but when they do, it's adorable and sweet and there totally needs to be more of it. She keeps trying to drag him into having a feelings jam; one day he'll relent. He keeps being overprotective of her; she doesn't seem to mind.
Kanaya Maryam ==> meddlefussyfang
Equius gets along with Kanaya reasonably well. He's actually fairly civil to her most of the time, and probably respects her intelligence and manners. He even went so far as to open up to her a little during a conversation in the Plaza. They went questing together during the RPG curse and have tentative plans to open an art gallery with Rose.
Terezi Pyrope ==> omnomr3dch4lk
He definitely gets some enjoyment out of hassling her in memos, but he can also get very upset when she plays mind-games with him or doesn't take what he has to say seriously. She inadvertently did him a huge favor early on when, after he made a classist slur in a memo and Gamzee got upset with him over it, she stepped back and let the two of them work it out on their own. He even apologized to her later, although he prefaced it with "This is not an apology." He seems to like her art, at least on some level, and maintains a delicate balance between trolling and being friendly-ish with her.
Vriska Serket ==> formida8le
Bluh bluh, huge bitch. She incurred his wrath early on by messing with Nepeta, and since then relations between the two have wavered between frosty and non-existent, although that certainly didn't stop him from exposing her and Eridan's black-flirting to their respective kismesises, although that probably had more to do with trolling Sollux than getting her in trouble.
Gamzee Makara ==> faygot
This is one of Equius' most complex and complicated relationships. When he first arrived, not only did Gamzee come down to the Plaza to meet him, but he also brought him a towel and put his arm around him. This has set the tone for most of their interaction; Equius has probably spent more time with Gamzee than anyone else in Vatheon, and isn't bothered in the least by long, rambling adventures together.
That isn't to say that everything has been sunshine and rainbows for them; an offhanded slur Equius made in a public memo made Gamzee snap at him and make him promise to stop with the hemospectrum prejudices. Surprisingly, Equius agreed almost immediately, and has been making a valiant effort to keep his promise, which speaks to the strength of their bond. Equius also stayed with him during the week Wataru was gone, feeding him slime and staring at the walls from the dubious comfort of the Horn Pile. However, most of the time they get caught up doing silly, mundane things like chilling in the Horn Pile, going shopping for burritos, fishing, and having serious discussions while lurking in the doorway of the Hive of Inappropriate Touching and Hugs.
Recently, after an extremely awkward conversation that ended in sloppy makeouts, they've become matesprits, and Equius couldn't be more delighted about this. He even broke down and smiled for Gamzee! While his last mobius double reach-around relationship was a giant mess, he's almost painfully optimistic and extremely determind to make this work out.
No matter what happens.
Eridan Ampora ==> yerawizarderri
They lived together briefly, and once Eridan even delivered a righteous bitching-out that left them both very satisfied. Unfortunately, Eridan also doesn't know when to shut his mouth, and after talking trash about Nepeta, Equius got enraged and ripped apart a wall in their hive.
They're not roommates anymore.
Equius does enjoy trolling him, however, and has even gone out of his way to agitate him on public memos. The fact that Eridan's moirail is now his kismesis only adds fuel to the fire, and it's probably for the best that they haven't met in person since they parted ways as roommates. This is another relationship with some definite ashen potential.
Feferi Peixes ==> witch_of_life
For a relationship that started with her reading him the riot act about his language choices, Equius and Feferi have gotten past their rocky start and really begun to bond. Feferi is unique in that she's one of the only trolls besides Nepeta who has seen Equius scared, and he tolerates her cheerfulness and exuberance without excessive complaining. Not that excessive complaining would do him much good anyway; he's learning that nothing gets Feferi down, even his most pointed bitching.
She's teaching him to swim, and he has agreed to teach her about robotics at some point. It's a dynamic that has surprised him, but he isn't fighting it either, so there is definitely some affection there.
John Egbert ==> heirconditioner
John charmingly and derpily contacted Equius on his first day in Vatheon, and they... hit it off. Hit it off pretty well, in fact, much to the surprise of them both. Well, at least to Equius' surprise. Since then, they've maintained an affable broship; Equius patiently explained troll romance to John, and John has gone out of his way to defend Equius when other trolls speak badly of him, much to Equius' eternal amusement and Eridan's eternal chagrin.
Rose Lalonde ==> oglogoth
Rose, with her cultured speech patterns and mildly disdainful attitude towards idiots, managed to completely charm Equius early on, to the point that he even chose to assume humans assigned rank based on eye color, just so he'd have an excuse to continue talking to her. While they haven't met yet in person, all their interactions on the network have been friendly and pleasant, and they have tentative plans to open an art gallery with Kanaya.
Dave Strider ==> ishades
Of the three kids he's met so far, Equius got off to the worst start with Dave, casually referring to him as "mutant filth" on the network and insulting him when he wasn't up to having a rap battle with him. That all changed when they joined forces to mercilessly troll Karkat and almost everyone else in Vatheon on one of Dave's messages, and they've been total bros ever since. Equius even let Dave "beat" him in the most epic of fake fights the Vatheon Park has ever seen when Dave was feeling down.
Karkat once referred to their relationship as a "mutual ego-fellating extravaganza," and that's not far off. Whatever, he's just jealous of this rad bromance.
Spades Slick ==> vaultstuck
Oh, Stabdad. Equius stitched up Slick's stump and made him an arm, complete with an extendable knife in the hand. You'd think they'd be friends, or that Slick would at least be a little be grateful, but no. About the only thing they can agree on is that they both hate Karkat, and as long as they're bonding over that, they can be civil to each other. Otherwise, Slick is usually threatening to light Equius on fire or stab him in the face.
Pffft, like he could even reach Equius' face! Shorty.
Equius' Non-Canon Relationships
Wataru Kurenai ==> kamen_luthier
Introduced by Gamzee, Equius has gone out of his way to try and be nice to Wataru and convince him to like him. When it's just the two of them, that strategy has paid off; they have plans to make an electronic violin together and Wataru has even offered to help Equius learn how to control his strength with the help of the Kiva suit. However, when he sees Equius and Gamzee interact, Wataru tends to line-face at Equius the whole time, and Equius doesn't understand why! They're just bros, Watarulusus, honest!
In any case, Equius likes and respects Wataru, and tries hard to impress him and live up to his expectations.
Doctor Franken Stein ==> patchworkdoctor
Upon finding out that Stein was a martial arts master, Equius asked him if he could teach him to control his strength. Stein agreed, on the condition that they have a fight first so he could understand what he was dealing with. The ensuing fight left them both half-dead and Equius completely mortified at what he'd done.
When they met later though, Stein bore him no ill will and even gave him some archery pointers. They now have a standing training appointment and Equius will be bringing by some killbots for Stein's perusal later.
Rainbow Dash ==> dashingloyalty
She's a pony. She's a talking pony. She's a talking, flying, b100 blue pony! How could they not be friends?!
Despite Karkat's best efforts to squash this friendship before it even started (thanks, douche), Dash and Equius hit it off almost immediately. As long as she never asks him about the artwork on his world, they should be fine.
Maximus ==> punchesthieves
Through shameless flattery and some STRONG petting, Equius is now friends with Maximus. While they don't have the greatest conversations ever, it's about the best friendship that can be expected between a creepy troll kid and a Disney horse.
Amaterasu ==> to_takamagahara
Equius doesn't understand that she's a sun goddess; he thinks she's a painting woofbeast who is also probably a lusus of some sort. The way she's gone out of her way twice to comfort him when he was feeling bad haven't dissuaded him from this belief at all.