friends romans country men, lend me your ears...
i ride horses are lovebrought to you by the isLove Generator
sorry i havnt posted in a while, ive been super busy, super stressed, super happy, and super confused. its all a big mess. everything is messy right now, and cluttered and my head is throbbing and sometimes for no reason, i jsut break down. for instance last week i was so stressed out i could have punched someone, well i went out to the barn because i just needed to get away and for the first time in months misty pushed open the gate and ran, when i caught her i just collapsed on the ground and cried. it was like the straw that broke the back. she nuzzeled my hair and was truely sorry, and concerned i think. so yeah with 4 projects due and only one down im freakin out. finals are less then a week away, and im scared. i took sats and i really hope i at least broke 1000, i need to get into college i need to get outta here, i need to do something great with what few talents i have. my cousin came down adn he was stress more than anything. i should be doing my great depression speech or putting the finishing touches on my antony speech but i just need for like 4 minutes to vent, to write the way i want to and not study. i have to see riverdance tonight and unfortunatley that is taking up a great deal of my time. i really want to go to arcadia, i really want to ride, i want to work with jesse and be able to get on his back by the end of xmas break. i want to be free and happy and unstressed. and i want my head to stop hurting. i want things to make sense, and i want to stop thinking. christ how badly i want things to just be done, how badly i want things just to relax and stop. how badly i want the perpetual crashing waves of thought to stop and the gentle idling calm to come back. im shaking because i either need nicotine or caffine, or adrenaline meds, or a drink a nice strong drink. but i can have none of the last two until after exams, i promised myself that. o well things will calm again, they always do. so since antony is beconing, i just want to appologize to everyone ihave been short with, to everyone i have been pushing away or anyone i have pulled to close, to anyone i have seemed to dependant on or lack there of. goodnight and i promise, ill be back, the raging storm of things to do will ebb and the usualy happy go lucky, bouncy nique will be back, but right now, no one can know how much stress im under, and it is hard to explain, and i really dont like to. so once again goodnight and im sorry.
with all the pieces of a broken heart
d
monday you can fall apart
tuesday wednesday break my heart
thursday doesn't even start
it's friday I'm in love
saturday wait
and sunday always comes too late
but friday never hesitate...
sorry i havnt posted in a while, ive been super busy, super stressed, super happy, and super confused. its all a big mess. everything is messy right now, and cluttered and my head is throbbing and sometimes for no reason, i jsut break down. for instance last week i was so stressed out i could have punched someone, well i went out to the barn because i just needed to get away and for the first time in months misty pushed open the gate and ran, when i caught her i just collapsed on the ground and cried. it was like the straw that broke the back. she nuzzeled my hair and was truely sorry, and concerned i think. so yeah with 4 projects due and only one down im freakin out. finals are less then a week away, and im scared. i took sats and i really hope i at least broke 1000, i need to get into college i need to get outta here, i need to do something great with what few talents i have. my cousin came down adn he was stress more than anything. i should be doing my great depression speech or putting the finishing touches on my antony speech but i just need for like 4 minutes to vent, to write the way i want to and not study. i have to see riverdance tonight and unfortunatley that is taking up a great deal of my time. i really want to go to arcadia, i really want to ride, i want to work with jesse and be able to get on his back by the end of xmas break. i want to be free and happy and unstressed. and i want my head to stop hurting. i want things to make sense, and i want to stop thinking. christ how badly i want things to just be done, how badly i want things just to relax and stop. how badly i want the perpetual crashing waves of thought to stop and the gentle idling calm to come back. im shaking because i either need nicotine or caffine, or adrenaline meds, or a drink a nice strong drink. but i can have none of the last two until after exams, i promised myself that. o well things will calm again, they always do. so since antony is beconing, i just want to appologize to everyone ihave been short with, to everyone i have been pushing away or anyone i have pulled to close, to anyone i have seemed to dependant on or lack there of. goodnight and i promise, ill be back, the raging storm of things to do will ebb and the usualy happy go lucky, bouncy nique will be back, but right now, no one can know how much stress im under, and it is hard to explain, and i really dont like to. so once again goodnight and im sorry.
with all the pieces of a broken heart
d
monday you can fall apart
tuesday wednesday break my heart
thursday doesn't even start
it's friday I'm in love
saturday wait
and sunday always comes too late
but friday never hesitate...