(no subject)
i woke up this morning with blood running down my throat. the good way to start your day is always with a healthy breakfast. i used to have nosebleeds quite frequently. i don't think i mentioned this to many people...mainly because it's irrelevant and no one cares to listen. i don't remember what excuse they made for it. i've had one for close to an hour. i think it had something to do with allergies....or rather they thought for me and told me to think this. if i still had my old pillows i'd put them on display with my old mattress. they're not saturated although it's happened a few times. usually i feel a trickle start to make its way down my nostril and they way it feels...(different viscosity and weight)...make me bring my head around so i'm lying a position to let it drain into my throat. getting up is just too bothersome. i'd rather just bleed than get up and wait it out. i know you can apply pressure to a spot between the tip of your nose and your eyes on the bridge of your nose to decrease bloodflow....but that's bothersome too. i really won't be missing it so no big loss for me.
i had a dream with alisha in it this time. all i can remember is a library of some sort. you can be guaranteed that it was weird. but specifics seem to escape me at the moment. nothing remotely sexual though i'm sure. it probably has something to do with that thought of whether she found any of those books or not. i hope she did. i've been reading.. i read two books from friday to around wednesday but there was no real consistency in what i was doing so it's hard to say exactly how long it took to read them. they were good though. to me. not to you. or anyone you could probably think of. so names aren't important. i'm working on a third book. although this one has a slightly different subject than the other two so it doesn't captivate as well as i'd like it to. i've still got calculus work to do so i doubt that i'll be able to finish before the break is over. we're preparing ourselves for the ap-calculus exam. i need to get a little better. i can do the stuff...possibly better than most other people in there besides sgt. sprinkles...but i don't comprehend the problem as fast as i should. i guess i just don't care....but apathetic attitudes only get the rewards they deserve. my only reward is ascension.
there were a few odd moments this weekend. i was driving with george...and this middle-aged woman in the car to our right was staring at us and smiling. sometimes there's a distinct difference in the way a person can smile. sometimes it's a polite smile and sometimes it's a smile that indicates some sort of interest. her's seemed like the latter. she waved when i looked over. and then she remained still temporarily after the turned. we still don't know what had her so mesmerized... then at krogers there was a chick that kept looking at me far too often. more like shyly glancing. she was cute....but i don't pursue anything. i lack the cockiness and self-confidence to have that sort of success. we've had these sorts of problems before. it'd be simpler if i didn't recognize anything beautiful. that's the way i should be. no focus. i've got too many flaws.
i had a dream with alisha in it this time. all i can remember is a library of some sort. you can be guaranteed that it was weird. but specifics seem to escape me at the moment. nothing remotely sexual though i'm sure. it probably has something to do with that thought of whether she found any of those books or not. i hope she did. i've been reading.. i read two books from friday to around wednesday but there was no real consistency in what i was doing so it's hard to say exactly how long it took to read them. they were good though. to me. not to you. or anyone you could probably think of. so names aren't important. i'm working on a third book. although this one has a slightly different subject than the other two so it doesn't captivate as well as i'd like it to. i've still got calculus work to do so i doubt that i'll be able to finish before the break is over. we're preparing ourselves for the ap-calculus exam. i need to get a little better. i can do the stuff...possibly better than most other people in there besides sgt. sprinkles...but i don't comprehend the problem as fast as i should. i guess i just don't care....but apathetic attitudes only get the rewards they deserve. my only reward is ascension.
there were a few odd moments this weekend. i was driving with george...and this middle-aged woman in the car to our right was staring at us and smiling. sometimes there's a distinct difference in the way a person can smile. sometimes it's a polite smile and sometimes it's a smile that indicates some sort of interest. her's seemed like the latter. she waved when i looked over. and then she remained still temporarily after the turned. we still don't know what had her so mesmerized... then at krogers there was a chick that kept looking at me far too often. more like shyly glancing. she was cute....but i don't pursue anything. i lack the cockiness and self-confidence to have that sort of success. we've had these sorts of problems before. it'd be simpler if i didn't recognize anything beautiful. that's the way i should be. no focus. i've got too many flaws.