I suck...
I'm in an "I suck" kind of mood today. I can't find my glasses, I need to take a shower, but my pregnant ass has trouble getting into and out of the tub, plus I'm afraid of falling down once I'm in. I want to dye my hair, that always used to bring my mood up, even if it was superficial (sp?) and temporary.
One of my biggest fears about this pregnancy is that he won't be perfect. You know like he might be blind, or deaf, retarded, or missing an arm or leg. I'm terrified that he will turn out with something wrong with him, and it will be all my fault. I would still love him more then anything, but knowing that he will have a harder time going through life, because of me...that thought just scares the fuck out of me. Or if he where to just stop moving, stop being alive for no reason. The thought is enough to freak me out majorly. I love him so much, and he's not even here yet. Every day I feel like I know him more, and I feel like I love him more. It's kinda scary. But I know all will be well. But I need some love, and so does Eric, I'm gonna go and try to get some.
One of my biggest fears about this pregnancy is that he won't be perfect. You know like he might be blind, or deaf, retarded, or missing an arm or leg. I'm terrified that he will turn out with something wrong with him, and it will be all my fault. I would still love him more then anything, but knowing that he will have a harder time going through life, because of me...that thought just scares the fuck out of me. Or if he where to just stop moving, stop being alive for no reason. The thought is enough to freak me out majorly. I love him so much, and he's not even here yet. Every day I feel like I know him more, and I feel like I love him more. It's kinda scary. But I know all will be well. But I need some love, and so does Eric, I'm gonna go and try to get some.