Dear Spam Mail.
Dear Spam Mailers,
I hate to inform you that after all of your dillegent attempts to sell me Viagra and offer free student loans,
not only do I not believe any place is willing to give out loans due to our crashing economy, let alone FREE...
but i dont have a penis.
IF i did ever happen to have a penis on my person at some given time,
I would infact take up your offer, i'm sure, to make it- very -large.
-Thanks.