old mentors and bands
well Havent written anything in my livejournal in awhile..
Been super buisy mixing atthe troc and at my studio..
Yesterday was kinda neat cause it was all these bands I had either mastered or mixed when I first got back from the UK.
It felt good to see how much progress I hjave made with my interests.
It was day one of the philly independent shove fest... and frankly I was impressed
with the first round of bands
days like these
jealousy curve
fat city reprise
peppers ghost
Ironically of all the national acts Ive been mixing lately they were some of my favourite
solid tone, solid gera,solid bands
I ran into pooch, not to be confused with pookie who I havent seen in a long while for that matter, maybe Ill give leah a call today and see how she's doing in la la land.
pooch was one of my buisiness teachers in college and also did my first internship athis management firm. He had showed up with his daughter who is now 21 and working with him.. like father like daughter.. this buisiness has a habbit of draging your family into it ha ha ha.
\But it was nice he gave me somereal nice compliments about my mixing which ment a lot. I mean after doing this for over ten years every day you dont need affirmation(you rarely getit anyway) but to get it form someone who knew me when I gigled atthe word POTentiometer is nice.
Now for the usual gaetan rant...
Im kinda sad and I cant get it out,
no longer have anyone to talk to about these things, not saying the're arent close and special people in my life...
but Ive been silently kind of dying inside
my mother has been in the hospital for over 6 weeks now
and I cant even think about it... no one to talk to about it
no one to just hang out with and forget about it...
I watched my aunt, grandmother and grandfather die through emails and late night expensive hotel phone calls.
Ive neverwalked out on a tour or a show or a commitment to any producer, manager, label, anything.. A fact Im very proud of cause its a rare quality to see people last... But now all I want to do is spend a little bit of time with her...and I cant
I hate money, now even that I have it...
Im so used to having to take care of myself and only myself, now I just feel like some of the closest people in my life are either dying or sleeping.
But I cant complain without feeling guilt..
I had four days off
I spentthem pretey much all alone except for the 4th when james and christy picked me up to go party hoping... Ran into a few old friends it was nice...My artist friends were still struggling doing art and the rest are still struggling. Then got a phone call yesterday.. apparently one of them droped dead from a heart attack in their kitchen a few hours later... crazy
I feel as usual that my lonliness is self inflicted.
I suppose Ive become very selctive about things. for example anything to do with sound or the concert or managemnt industry feels like work
so going to shows is a no go.
coffee shops are still as fun as they were when I struggled to spit out my first english words...
but their isnt a meghan rogers musing every sip nor anyone for that matter.. Just me my coffee and a feeling of displacement.
Havent written poetry in a long time... though Im almost done with nmy first text book on engineering ( a fascinating read really... IF YOUR A FUCKING GEEK LIKE ME)
cant seem to sleep more tahn 6 hours.. a fact I used to be very proud of, expecially while at college. But now I wake up everymorningdoing technical tests on equipment and repeatedly waking up in a cold sweat, fearing I missed a call time.
now Im sitting here staring at the screen questioning if I should add anymore or just continue waiting hoping to find someone to make the coffee a little less bitter.
I love you mom, please forgive me
Been super buisy mixing atthe troc and at my studio..
Yesterday was kinda neat cause it was all these bands I had either mastered or mixed when I first got back from the UK.
It felt good to see how much progress I hjave made with my interests.
It was day one of the philly independent shove fest... and frankly I was impressed
with the first round of bands
days like these
jealousy curve
fat city reprise
peppers ghost
Ironically of all the national acts Ive been mixing lately they were some of my favourite
solid tone, solid gera,solid bands
I ran into pooch, not to be confused with pookie who I havent seen in a long while for that matter, maybe Ill give leah a call today and see how she's doing in la la land.
pooch was one of my buisiness teachers in college and also did my first internship athis management firm. He had showed up with his daughter who is now 21 and working with him.. like father like daughter.. this buisiness has a habbit of draging your family into it ha ha ha.
\But it was nice he gave me somereal nice compliments about my mixing which ment a lot. I mean after doing this for over ten years every day you dont need affirmation(you rarely getit anyway) but to get it form someone who knew me when I gigled atthe word POTentiometer is nice.
Now for the usual gaetan rant...
Im kinda sad and I cant get it out,
no longer have anyone to talk to about these things, not saying the're arent close and special people in my life...
but Ive been silently kind of dying inside
my mother has been in the hospital for over 6 weeks now
and I cant even think about it... no one to talk to about it
no one to just hang out with and forget about it...
I watched my aunt, grandmother and grandfather die through emails and late night expensive hotel phone calls.
Ive neverwalked out on a tour or a show or a commitment to any producer, manager, label, anything.. A fact Im very proud of cause its a rare quality to see people last... But now all I want to do is spend a little bit of time with her...and I cant
I hate money, now even that I have it...
Im so used to having to take care of myself and only myself, now I just feel like some of the closest people in my life are either dying or sleeping.
But I cant complain without feeling guilt..
I had four days off
I spentthem pretey much all alone except for the 4th when james and christy picked me up to go party hoping... Ran into a few old friends it was nice...My artist friends were still struggling doing art and the rest are still struggling. Then got a phone call yesterday.. apparently one of them droped dead from a heart attack in their kitchen a few hours later... crazy
I feel as usual that my lonliness is self inflicted.
I suppose Ive become very selctive about things. for example anything to do with sound or the concert or managemnt industry feels like work
so going to shows is a no go.
coffee shops are still as fun as they were when I struggled to spit out my first english words...
but their isnt a meghan rogers musing every sip nor anyone for that matter.. Just me my coffee and a feeling of displacement.
Havent written poetry in a long time... though Im almost done with nmy first text book on engineering ( a fascinating read really... IF YOUR A FUCKING GEEK LIKE ME)
cant seem to sleep more tahn 6 hours.. a fact I used to be very proud of, expecially while at college. But now I wake up everymorningdoing technical tests on equipment and repeatedly waking up in a cold sweat, fearing I missed a call time.
now Im sitting here staring at the screen questioning if I should add anymore or just continue waiting hoping to find someone to make the coffee a little less bitter.
I love you mom, please forgive me