If the abyss stares back, why can't heaven return a smile?
I’ve attempted to sleep, but it would appear that even masturbation has no power over the things running around in my head. I’m somewhat in a state of confusion, considering how the typical drive for insomnia as a state of unwellness and well, I’m actually quite peaceful. All the questions that I can answer right now are answered, and all those which can’t have been understood as such. In the universe of Louie, meaning everything that is between my heart and end of my extended hand, all is well. I acknowledge that that is as far as my full control extends. However, I request that I not be blamed for wanting to be the Magic Sky Pixie and have the capacity to clap my omnipotent butt cheeks together and make everything shiny and happy.
Randolph, Stone, and Tommy were here last night. I made them an offer they couldn’t refuse on their return trip from their holiday escapades. I offered them a place to sleep, food, and Mountain Dew. However, Tommy and I didn’t really sleep during his time here. Instead we talked, got to know each other better, and in the end I think got closer. …Or at least I hope we did. It felt good to just listen to him, to learn, and to connect. And in addition to that, I got to enjoy the feeling of being in the company of someone who could share experiences and able to know what I was feeling. I was in the presence of someone who was self aware and I felt encouraged to know that I’m not totally fucked up for feeling the things I’m feeling. Yes, I know! I should have grown out of the personal fable a long time ago, but when people don’t share their experiences, its hard to be sure that you’re not the only one going through the joys and sorrows that you are personally experiencing. It’s also hard to assure someone, when they close themselves off out of fear and doubt.
Perhaps I’m not as all right as I think I am. I’m sitting here, wishing that people could just share themselves with each other, and not have to be afraid.
Randolph, Stone, and Tommy were here last night. I made them an offer they couldn’t refuse on their return trip from their holiday escapades. I offered them a place to sleep, food, and Mountain Dew. However, Tommy and I didn’t really sleep during his time here. Instead we talked, got to know each other better, and in the end I think got closer. …Or at least I hope we did. It felt good to just listen to him, to learn, and to connect. And in addition to that, I got to enjoy the feeling of being in the company of someone who could share experiences and able to know what I was feeling. I was in the presence of someone who was self aware and I felt encouraged to know that I’m not totally fucked up for feeling the things I’m feeling. Yes, I know! I should have grown out of the personal fable a long time ago, but when people don’t share their experiences, its hard to be sure that you’re not the only one going through the joys and sorrows that you are personally experiencing. It’s also hard to assure someone, when they close themselves off out of fear and doubt.
Perhaps I’m not as all right as I think I am. I’m sitting here, wishing that people could just share themselves with each other, and not have to be afraid.