My knuckles are white from holding this door shut so tight.
This could very well be (and most likely is) PMS, but damn. All this shit tumbling around in my head and I don't know how to straighten it out.
I really just want this to be normal. I never want normal things, but for once I just want it to be fucking simple. I'm tired of hiding and sneaking around and feeling like I'm this big controversy. There is a certain thrill to it but I can already tell it's going to fade quickly and it'll just hurt after awhile.
I'm not exactly helping the situation because I'm terrified of opening up completely, but I want to. I just need a sign. I need to know that he really wants this on some level.
It just feels way too good for it to not mean something. I really hope I'm not mistaken like I have been in the past, because I really have not felt this good about someone in over a year.
I just keep thinking about waking up last Sunday morning and how perfect and wonderful it was. And it wasn't even my birthday.
Fuckin' a, man.
I really just want this to be normal. I never want normal things, but for once I just want it to be fucking simple. I'm tired of hiding and sneaking around and feeling like I'm this big controversy. There is a certain thrill to it but I can already tell it's going to fade quickly and it'll just hurt after awhile.
I'm not exactly helping the situation because I'm terrified of opening up completely, but I want to. I just need a sign. I need to know that he really wants this on some level.
It just feels way too good for it to not mean something. I really hope I'm not mistaken like I have been in the past, because I really have not felt this good about someone in over a year.
I just keep thinking about waking up last Sunday morning and how perfect and wonderful it was. And it wasn't even my birthday.
Fuckin' a, man.