Iron Dog rolls in the hay
Molly-O, an old friend from the stunt-riding days, woke me with a call this morning just to tell me that I have a crunchy Iron-Dog shell, with a secret Monkey filling....and that I'm one of the rare breeds who's compatible with her Tiger.
While my nature discourages me from buying into the mold filling philosophy of any Zodiac, I can't help but admit that many of the attributes of Dog and Monkey fit with my core.
A better wake up call than the souless bill collectors who call at 7 and 8 am.
(you poor bastards would get more out of me if you'd learn positive social skills)
I love Mols. We always talk til our phones expire (now we're chatting on im; saucy.)... I get along great with her folks too. Funny thing is, I've seen her parents almost every year at the Georgia Ren-Fair and yet I've only seen Molly twice in the past decade.
As I’ve mentioned, Molly and I were stunt riders.
And I use the term 'stunt riders' lightly because we were not professionals; our equipment was jerri-rigged, the training was dangerously minimal and overall it was nothing I should boast about. But, however humble I cut it, we did do stunts on or -as the case may be- off of horseback.
Me in Drag
This is one of the few pictures I have of my work at the Arabian Nights Dinner Theatre show. One thing about this stunt; I Never needed a chiropractor. The snap of being yanked from a standing position by a horse running at full tilt was enough to straighten my spine.
I took the job at Arabian Nights Dinner Theatre after my return from Colorado in August 92. While I was out West I'd learned a little about lighting design and thought I could handle preprogrammed show lights, so I stopped in to fill out an application. When the secretary asked what job I'd was applying for, I said something like, "I'll take anything, but I'd rather shovel shit than work in retail." She smiled, asked if I'd ever been on a horse. I had.
The secretary told me to put down the application and follow her to the stables; she wanted the Captain to meet me. The secretary informed me that the Captain was recruiting amateur riders to bring new blood into the show.
It turned out his official title was Captain Barry McKie, earned serving twenty-six years as the Riding Master in Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth's Household Cavalry. After his retirement he moved to the Flatlands where he 'accepted the position as Director of Entertainment for Arabian Nights.' Captain asked me a few equestrian questions, put a riding helmet on my head and sent me with a rider to find some boots. When I returned there was a horse waiting for me (same one in the pic).
I assume my riding skills proved that I wasn't a seasoned rider but that I had enough grace to keep my seat, which was precisely what the Captain was looking for. As he told me later, he didn't want to struggle teaching know-it-all equestrians; he wanted to train new equestrians.
When he called, a week after my interview, he asked my height and weight, mumbled some figures and asked if I'd be willing to learn some stunts. I jumped at the chance and was hired on as a "Young Gun," (a position the Captain had created to refresh the cast). Captain told me I'd be trained to do the "High Fall," the "Jerk Off" and the "Drag."
I liked the Captain immediately but looking back, I feel that I never fully expressed my deep respect for him and if anything, I gave him headaches (is it just me or does Harry's relationship with Dumbledore sound similar?). I wasn't the only one to cause him problems; most of the original barn staff didn't respect him. Frustrated, the Captain left Arabian Nights a few years after I did, and started his own work helping troubled kids. But that's another story and you can find it here: McKie Equine Communications.
There were four other Young Guns when I started; three women (Molly, Lori & Joanne?) and one man (James "I'm not Black I'm Puerrrrto Rrrican"). That was possibly one of the best work crews I've ever been apart of. James took me under his wing and, although I was nowhere near as muscular as him, he never treated me like a little guy. We were a family; albeit a perpetually bruised family that smelled of horseshit and sweat.
Molly-O and I became extremely close while cleaning stalls in the "Back Barn" and while that alone sounds like an allusion to sex, it's very misleading. Although I occasionally enjoy leaving things to the imagination, I'll take a moment to say that Mols and I did sleep together, often, but never ever in the Back Barn.
Usually we'd curl up together backstage in the main barn after the Sunday morning chores were done and we had a few hours to kill. We'd stack up bales of hay, or, if there was room, we'd squeeze together with the rest of the cast on a prop called the "Rock" (a foam landing-pad used for the "High Fall" stunt. The Rock resembled a giant grub bound in denim and rope, more than a geological formation, but in the dark I suppose it could be mistaken for a boulder... or a loaf of blue bread.) If there weren't any vacant, soft spots in the barn area, we'd burrow under a layer of costumes with the other Young Guns in our tiny "dressing room."
The four (later five) of us Young'uns shared a single, 4x4 dressing room in the corner of the changing room, because none of the Senior Guns wanted to share their space with rookies. Hidden behind a thin, red privacy curtain, our dressing room contained a short bench, some shelves, clothing hooks, costumes, and a long mirror. At anytime during a show, it might also contain a number of hurried, half naked men and women, changing costumes, and sharing sweat. That's showbiz. There was plenty of ass smacking, colorful commentary and not so subtle innuendo as well. It was kind of nice, in an honest way, which contained none of today's PC phobia. We loved and accepted each other and that meant fair game for teasing.
Back to the Back Barn.
Nobody wanted to clean the back barn. For whatever reason, there was a mild stigma about it, not overlooking the fact that it was Extra work on top of the dozens of stalls that needed cleaning in the Main Barn. The Back Barn was at the edge of the property, and housed the new and retired horses; the young and old, and all of them unpredictable. So every day two people had to volunteer to take on the additional work of picking (cleaning) stalls. During the winter months, Molly and I began volunteering so often that it was assumed we were in charge of Back Barn. It was also assumed that we were up to something because we giggled all the time and there's little humor in horseshit.
I'll admit that sex was the main reason behind our daily Back Barn volunteer work, but we never had sex with each other. (Or the horses! Gods I hadn’t considered I might be alluding to something like that!)
The Sex: a comedy of Eros.
- I was secretly dating Stephanie the wardrobe manager, who was 10 years my senior.
- Molly was secretly dating Kim the show's star horseman, who was 12 years her senior.
- Independently, both Stephanie and Kim made us take oaths of secrecy to avoid the complications of relationships in the workplace. (Kim had an additional concern regarding complications: His Ex-wife co-starred in the show with him and she could have been Xena's prototype. Big, beautiful and brutal.)
- Stephanie and Kim were best friends.
- Molly & I didn't know this.
- We were bursting to tell somebody, anybody about our suddenly fantastic sex lives.
- Idle time in the Main Barn was a struggle against temptations, in more ways than one. (Stephanie and I had a few close calls in the wardrobe office.)
One day, while Molly and I were cleaning stalls and stifling giggles, she piped up and said, “I have to tell you something, but it’s a secret.” I agreed to return the investment with a secret of my own. Later, when we found out that Kim and Stephanie were friends we thought it was rather odd that they'd made us take the same vow. I think it was Molly who found them in the Wardrobe office, exchanging our sex stories. So of course we played it off as if they had broken the vow. By Spring I had broken up with Stephanie but Molly and I have been extremely close ever since….even though she lives in Michigan.
I've been of a retrospective mindset lately... Perhaps all the time working on art allows for ruminating... it could be that Molly and I go through phases of frequent communication and our talks eventually lead around to "remember when?" or maybe I just want to get this out while I'm still young enough to be listened to... who knows?
Speaking of Dogs, several months ago I found that I was surrounded by Dogs while having dinner with Michael and one_woman_army. The three of us represented three generations of Dog.... I find it interesting since we were all so immediately compatible.