Emotionless
Lately I have felt so complete/incomplete. I got into UT but I have to do a year at UTPA, which isn't all that bad. I feel that I haven't been home in ages. I feel like I hurt some of my closest friends, in a matter that I didn't choose. I was starting to feel somewhat complete untill that faithful day when God but matters into his own hands and placed a shiny silver object in the middle of the road to shake my emotions. I fucked up badly. I needed to realize something in that point on. Things happen to everyone every day, either good or bad, it happens, things happen.
I just sometimes feel that I have been getting so much shit for things I feel I don't deserve to get, or maybe I do, I just don't know anymore. I think that's why I am not disappointed in staying here one more year. I feel I have things unfinished here, with my father, my mother, my sister, my brothers, the compound, yvette, my best friend Adrian, my (bro) mentor Petey, and everyone that I just fucking love that are leaving next semester. I think that I need a brake from all those kids from school just to find myself, not saying that I hate them, but I just need time to finally, just finally, to find myself, my real self. I think once I find myself someone in my darkness I can finally find that flashlight to guide myself to the outside world and finally live the way life was meant for me.
Untill I finally do, I will be very good.
I just sometimes feel that I have been getting so much shit for things I feel I don't deserve to get, or maybe I do, I just don't know anymore. I think that's why I am not disappointed in staying here one more year. I feel I have things unfinished here, with my father, my mother, my sister, my brothers, the compound, yvette, my best friend Adrian, my (bro) mentor Petey, and everyone that I just fucking love that are leaving next semester. I think that I need a brake from all those kids from school just to find myself, not saying that I hate them, but I just need time to finally, just finally, to find myself, my real self. I think once I find myself someone in my darkness I can finally find that flashlight to guide myself to the outside world and finally live the way life was meant for me.
Untill I finally do, I will be very good.